MMMMMMMMMM wow things went to doodie fast for me
i finally got a job (YAY) but.... with an actual income out came ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO SUDDENLY FELT I OWED THEM THINGS (not including commissioners i legitimately owe refunds !!!)!!! WOW!! so i have to pay off /over $1000/ to people who a. can honestly make my life a living Hell and b. will not stop being dickbags about it. whoopee. which means i can't pay anyone online back until i pay all that off (': with a minimum wage job(': which has a 3 hour commute(': which means i pay over $100 a week in gas as is(': god bless
and to top it all off it's like everything inside of me decided to revolt): it's like i can't eat anything without it hurting me, i mean things like meat had always had a weird effect on me but now it's like... unless it's fruit or veggies i'll get a huge tummy ache
(so of course since its easter i ate my weight in candy :/ i'm not the smartest birdie)
and i've been thrown back and forth between manic + depression so quickly and often that it's really, really wearing on me. i really wish i could get a doctors appointment but with everyone i owe i won't be able to for months. this sucks so much ugh i'm sorry i'm all whingy it's just like i cna't get over that people are honestly expecting me to choose them over my own health /and actively angry that i'm considering putting them off so i can go to the damn doctors/

SO art is like at a standstill because i'm exhausted all the time): it's even hard to be positive lately it really sucks i'm really down about all this
but hopefully everything will get better!! once i start really making a dent in these debts and maybe sneak some money into a savings account and save up to move far away i'll be much better 8) in the meantime i'm gonna squirrel away $20 for strawberries so i can actually eat hehehehehe ♥