I struggle to think of things to say in replies but thanks for your words and encouragement and just everything <3

I find it hard to express myself to people about my mental health; oftentimes because it causes me to spiral into sudden bouts of self-deprecation and fatalism that I just can't fight and it drives me half mad because nothing helps at all, so all I can do is mope and watch a movie or something until it passes.

I see problems in everything I make (which is nothing new to artists of any sort ever, really) but even when people compliment me I feel like I don't deserve it because other people are doing a better job. And I'm often jealous of said other people at the same time too. And it all just crushes down into making me feel inadequate and just... bleh.

I also get bouts of just ridiculous paranoia about people and that I'm both annoying and driving them away and that my novelty has worn off and I'm now boring and not of any use any more at all.

All in all I have a lot of thoughts in my head and they are mostly disruptive and mean.