The stress, the depression, the anxiety. It's all making me physically ill. I have been sick for about 2 weeks. There have been 2 days that I could eat normally and the rest of the time I can't eat more than a few chips or half a sandwich before i feel like im going to puke. I spend all day with the feeling of wanting to puke, cry, and hide all in one.

I havent talked to my mate very much in the past week. and honestly, Im dying inside. I miss him so much. I just want to be there with him or he be here with me. Thats just one more thing to add to the constant depression and anxiety. I just tired. I could sleep for days.
I recently read the book "It's Kind Of A Funny Story". Ever single thing he said hit so close to home it make me want to puke. I could barely handle reading more than 2 chapters at a time because it sent me into a panic attack. I realized that I might need to go to a therapist again, but every time I ask my mom just says we cant afford it and Ill be fine. Idk what to do anymore. I feel like if this doesnt stop im just going to give up.
Recently, my "best friend" has been "busy". She stopped texting me so I started initiating conversation with her. we'd go back and forth about 4 times and then she would stop. I have also been trying to hangout with her, but every time she makes a stupid excuse like "I have to make dinner".. its 1 PM... "I dont have gas to come meet you".. She posts an hour later that she drove to a nearby city to go shopping... "My baby's dad is coming to pick her up later so I have to stay all night until he gets here".. The dad just posted a picture on facebook of him and the baby at his house. I soon realized that a lot of my friends are doing this... I losing everyone. My family doesnt even want anything to do with me. All I have is my dog and my mate.

Again, this is in no way a post for pitty, it is just a vent.