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Re-learning Drawing by Vet
It's a struggle to draw in my free time. I think it might have to do with some trauma and depression I experienced in my first two years of art college rising up again in addition to the high level of stress over the summer doing a music video in Europe while experiencing relationship issues.
I have a physiological response of pain when I draw now.
This isn't good, so I'm starting over and will build up to sketching and posting every day and see if I can counter-act that. Might also be having early signs of carpal tunnel.
Be prepared for shitty drawings. Also left hand drawings.
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Gee, thanks a ton for the helpful advice and buck up! I agree, although usually I reward myself by distracting myself from drawing. I think I'll have to restructure that too. It's so strange, because I just get nervous when I start drawing, so nervous I need to do something to make myself stop. This is serious, I want it to stop!
I think the best way to go about it is to just post and see how it turns out. Expose myself, get uncomfortable and initiated again and get the pleasure back in drawing over insubstantial attention.
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It may help to have a series of drawings made just for you, like a set theme that's deeply personal that you purposefully never upload for others to see. That takes the social weight off of you, and you're no longer "drawing for others", as it were. I know it helps me sometimes to draw an entire huge project/world that I pour my heart into and then never show others. Don't worry, the hesitation/dislike of drawing isn't your burden alone. Sometimes for months at a time, I can't bear to think about it, look at my stuff (good or bad), can't even conceive of picking up the stylus. Just make sure to take care of your wrist, and take breaks often. Working through the pain can exacerbate the issues.
Either way, don't stress; patience and consistency will win out eventually. ♥
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Man, I've been going through the exact same thing. What's really the hardest is just starting. The idea of sitting down and drawing can sometimes feel overwhelming or sometimes frightening; the prospect of making more failed art works and thus reinforcing my own sense of artistic worthlessness can paralyze my hands.
Perhaps you just have to figure out how you can get validation from making art rather than other activities, sort of re-thinking what is worth your time and what isn't.
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atleast you already know how to "fix" this, it will be an interesting journey from this point, i d say good luck and dont give up but i know you wouldnt!
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Disidi
The good news is that the more you draw, the more your subconscious will separate it from your harmful memories. Maybe give yourself "treats" every so often while drawing to kind of train your brain to find it rewarding. I look forward to seeing lots of new stuff from you, sketches and all!