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Fursuits and Consent by Skittle
The fandom has a little (and I mean massive) problem with consent. Yea, we're a rather touchy bunch of people when we get together and that is ok, what is NOT ok is the implications that fursuit = consent. This should not be tolerated in any way shape or form.
What do I mean by that? People often hug fursuiters without asking. While some are ok with this, some of are not. You should ALWAYS ask about touching a fursuiter. "May I hug you?" is not that hard. Consent is something that is actively given. It is not implied. Just because someone is wearing a fursuit does not mean that they should expect people to invade their personal boundaries. Period. You ask. Fursuiter consents to being touched. That is how the conversation should go.
Inappropriate touching is never welcome unless the person is asked and ok with it. Generally, you should only ask these types of questions to someone you are good friends with and close with. I cannot count how many times people have chest checked me to figure out my gender (as if the presence of breasts indicated ANYTHING). This is NOT ok. Asking personal questions about the suit and/or suiter is not ok either. Personal boundaries are to be respected, always.
Also, one time consent does not mean indefinite consent. Ask every time. Respect the answers given. If you were able to hug them once, but they say no the second time? Respect their personal decision. It is their personal space you are asking to be invited into.
Consent, MATTERS. Consent is IMPORTANT. This includes asking to hug adorable giant fluffy critters. Their consent matters. Their bodies and their space are not yours to do with as you wish. Also, for the love of -insert deity-, if the person is smaller than you, ASK BEFORE YOU PICK THEM UP. I've been HURT countless times by people thinking its ok, cute, or funny to hug me and pick me up because I am a smaller person.
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Comments
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I try to wait for a signal like opened arms or for the suiter to initiate hugs first.
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I do this as a suiter
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Chest checking? Oh yuck yuck yuck. That is super gross. D:
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Likewise, being in a fursuit does not imply consent for the people around you. i've had fursuiters force hugs on me, and even had one grope my chest as my then-husband was taking a photo. NOT OKAY.
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UGH CHEST CHECKING, it happened to me at and Oklahoma furbowl and then had the nerve to say "I've never met a girl bear!" right after i'd told them both I and the character I was suiting as were MALE. When I objected I got a bunch of cissexist bull.
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Agreed. I've had people run up and hug me without any indication that they're even there. I can't see well in suit and it really freaks me out when I have no idea who's touching me. I don't mind giving hugs, just ask me first.
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FUCKING CHEST CHECKING
Remember at FWA last year when that woman came up to me an' Lexx and just GRABBED MY CHEST and Nico had to dive in security style and yell "HE DOESN'T LIKE THAT"
Good times -
JFC chest checking needs to be a thing people get their rights to having hands revoked for the day. I have fursuited at cons twice. The first time I wasn't binding and no one bothered me as I was in a half suit. But last FWA while fullsuiting? I must have been chest checked, crotch grabbed, or otherwise asked what my gender is (suprise, I'm a border collie atm and it doesn't matter, just prance around with me) every 5 to 20 minutes. I suited all day, all three days. Even in PUBLIC I got chest checked or asked if I was a boy dog or a girl dog. I didn't even bother trying to explain my non binary gender identity while in fursuit.
I loved full suiting but geez, it made for a real wet blanket on my time at the con. I was fortunately able to have fun otherwise, but it became increasingly upsetting as I was repeatedly molested throughout the days. It's sad because it's the most fun type of suiting for me but due to not wanting to be groped all day, I will likely be sticking to partials or half suits.
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ashtraska
I couldn't agree more. And with being picked up, I've had people larger and the same size as me pick me up in hugs and basically manipulate my spine. Not fun. Just at meets too, no fursuits.