-What's your real name?
I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you.

-How tall are you?
5' 8" and some change.

-What's your natural hair color?
Blonde would be a good answer here.

-What's your eye color?
Captivating Blue.

-What's your orientation?
I like men, mostly.

-Are you single, taken or undecided?
I belong to no one and everyone.

-What do you do in your spare time?
Eatin', sleepin', wrasslin' and fuckin'. Oh, and watching TV.

-What's your job or occupation?
Attending to wood...A Lumberjack. What did you think I meant?

-What do you like about yourself?
I'm pretty fucking funny, in 80% of social circles.

-What do you dislike about yourself?
I'm not funny in 20% of social circles.

-What did your friends notice about you when they first met you?
I'm fairly intimidating at first.

-What is your belief/religion if you believe in anything at all?
I believe in myself.

-Do you drink?
Of course.

-Do you smoke?
Cigars on occasion.

-What are your major fears?
Being tied down. No seriously, being restricted from my arms and legs scares the fuck out of me.

-Do you have any dreams or goals?
To be fuckin' hilarious in 100% of social circles.

-Have you ever had a crush or an ex?
I'd like to crush whoever made this.

-Who's your best buddy?
Whoever sucks my dick best. C'mon guys.

-What's your favorite dish?
Nothin' better than a rare steak.

-What's your favorite drink?
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Asahi.

-What's your favorite color?
Blood Red.

-If you had a super power, what would it be?
The Power of Persuasion.

-What's your least favorite food?
I'm fairly indifferent to foods without meat, but I'll give anything a try.

-What's the last meal you want before you die?
Refer to "Favourite Food".

-What do you drive and what would you really like to drive?
A piece of shit not worth mentioning. I'd love something far sportier, like a Subaru.

-What is your most disliked bug?
Bugs and I, we are on speaking terms. I don't hate them, but I'm not actively searching for them either.

-What pet peeves do you dislike the most?
Desperation.

-What do you dislike in life?
Taxes. Fuck that shit.