Stepping Up V.S. Stomping Down by Another Gone Profile

NOTE: Yes, this is in fact a result of both personal experience and recent comment reading.
No, it is NOT intended to single anyone out. If anything, I hope this might just shed some light and make people stop and think about their actions before pursuing them.

Let's say there's a person being tormented by trolls. They're obviously very upset and they express that. They post a journal, or submission, or something that's a generalized F*CK YOU to the trolls.
Then a user gets on the victim's case about one thing they said, telling them that they're rude for saying what they said, pretty much disregarding the situation and telling them that they had no right to say it.

Look, I'll absolutely agree with you on one thing. Two wrongs DO NOT make a right, it was not the best choice to post something so harsh.
You need to understand though, being trolled IS stressful (no matter how silly you may find it. Words DO hurt even if it is from far away). You are NOT going to get through to an angry upset person by telling them that they're being rude or anything like that.

If you are honestly trying to give them advice, try this instead:

  • Make sure to read the whole thing first, you need to understand the situation before you comment.
  • Take a moment to analyze it yourself before commenting.
  • Show them a little empathy (most of us have dealt with at least ONE troll), tell them that you've been there before. Let them know that they're not alone.
  • Tell them that they should try not to post such angry things because there are those out there that might take it to heart, might troll you HARDER for it. People like that will only make you feel worse, which you DO NOT NEED right now.
  • Make sure that you are suggesting this, do not command it. Suggestion implies concern and friendliness, commanding implies side taking and superiority over the victim.

Even if you think that the situation is kind of stupid, you need to refrain from talking down to them. Don't just tell them that they need to stop, don't tell them that they're wrong, don't call them a name. Be delicate, teach a lesson, show a fellow user some humanity.
Let's face it, the last thing anyone wants to hear when they're pissed off is that they're wrong (even if they are). But to spare some feelings sometimes you need to step up, however there's a difference between stepping and STOMPING. Please understand that your attitude and choice of words can make all the difference.

Stepping Up V.S. Stomping Down

Another Gone Profile

3 January 2014 at 01:31:35 MST

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    As always my dear, your insight in this subject matter is truly amazing.