Ok. Update for everyone who I haven't talked to individually.

Short version: I'm going in for my MRIs tomorrow to diagnose whether or not I have nerve damage. I don't actually know how I'm going to pay these bills...Any donations would be absolutely incredible. My Paypal is:

Tigerwolf.2@gmail.com

Thank you all so very much if anyone can donate...

The long version:

Tomorrow is my MRI. Due to the use of the Open MRI machine, each imagining session will last twice as long as normal. As a result, I will be on my back, in the machine, for a total of four hours tomorrow, from around 1pm to around 5pm. Possibly longer.

As you can probably imagine, lying on your back when it's your back that hurts, for that long, will not be pleasant. I may be completely absent both tomorrow and the next one or two days as I recover.

To my current commissioners - I'm very sorry, I do not know when I'll next be able to sit at my computer long enough to work. I'm hoping that will be this weekend, though. It took me about a day to recover from the x-rays, but that was, in total, about an hour and a half, in which I was allowed to move around and had to for the different views.

I anticipate this taking...well, longer.

I'm going to be taking two vicodin before going in - and I'm going to be carrying two more. Better to come out of it high and in no pain than to be unable to walk out to the car to go home.

I'll admit - I am a bit nervous. I never realized I was mildly claustrophobic until they went to put me in the other MRI machine and I opened my eyes to see the top of the machine less than a foot in front of my face. My heart started beating faster, and I started having flash visions of coffin interiors, and crematorium ovens...Yeah. I think I have a bit of a claustrophobic issue.

Hopefully the "open" part of the Open MRI will mean that it's wide enough that I don't feel trapped inside it, and hopefully I'll be able to keep my eyes closed and imagine pretty music or watch a movie in my head or something while it's going on.

Anyway, wish me luck and good thoughts for tomorrow - and that I'll be able to get some sleep tonight. I've been absurdly busy the last couple of days and it's made me...well, more than a little exhausted. Sleeping through the MRI wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. :P

As for what this is about...Well, as you all know, I have advanced degenerative joint and disc disease throughout my spine, resulting in crippling pain and an inability to move around like a normal person.

Recently, I've started experiencing some new symptoms - numbness. Numbness in the thumb and forefinger of my right hand (sometimes my left thumb, too). I lose my grip, I can't type, I can't use my mouse, I can't even hold my phone for long periods. Dangling my hands at my sides as if they've lost circulation works to "bring them back," but only temporarily.

The doctor's theory is that this could be one of two things - either it's nerve damage from the degenerative discs in my spine...or after so many years of spending hours and hours every day either typing or drawing or writing longhand...I've developed a rare type of carpal tunnel syndrome. The MRI will show us whether or not it's nerve damage.

Obviously I'm worried about either, because, as you all know, my livelihood is my hands. I'm an artist. I'm a writer. I don't know what I'll do if I'm told I can't draw or type anymore. So that's a bit of a fear. There's also the hope that maybe the physical therapy I'll be starting later this month might help this happen less often and therefore not impact me the way I'm afraid it will.

Either way, I have to get through those MRIs tomorrow. Thank you all for well wishes and any donations you can spare.

PAYPAL: Tigerwolf.2@gmail.com