So I have been DREADING going to the dentist. For years I didn't have insurance, and I wasn't confident what I do have now would cover the work I would need done. It has been a decade since I saw a dentist, and I know with my depression and AuDHD, my brushing routine needs work. If it isn't the forgetting, it is the executive dysfunction. Being medicated again for the first time in 2 decades has helped tremendously with brushing/flossing more frequently, but I assumed it was a "too little, too late" type deal.

Anyway, I finally got to see a dentist today and was fully prepared to leave in tears knowing I would need thousands of work done to my mouth. They took 18 xrays of my mouth. I expected them to tell me my teeth where ruined. That several would need to be pulled or had cavities. I told myself I needed to save money so I could afford implants because I mentally can NOT handle dentures. 

Ya'll I am almost in tears, but not for the reasons I thought. Nothing is wrong with my teeth. Not a single cavity, let alone needing a root canal or teeth pulled like I thought. The tooth I thought did have a cavity because it had a weird spot? Just calcification. I have the normal wear and tear for my age, but no expensive repairs, no fillings, nothing. I didn't believe them when they told me. I had them double check my xrays and the dentist even did a visual inspection with those pointy tools I hate to be triple sure. They did a cleaning (i didn't even need a deep cleaning like they thought I would over the phone) and the spot I was convinced was my tooth dying and rotting out my mouth? Gone. Like it was never there. The pain I get sometimes? Probably from grinding my teeth at night or just my sensitive teeth.

My family has a history of bad teeth, even those with good dental hygiene. We don't have the best genetics. I wasn't expecting this outcome. One of my biggest fears was needing to have dentures like my mom, grandmother, and great grandmother. Dental health is a privilege many of us can't afford in this country. Between that and my AuDHD I was POSITIVE I had ruined my teeth and it was time to pay the price. But no. I got home at 2pm (over four hours ago at the time of writing this) and I honestly still don't believe it.