I had trouble sleeping last night because of a pretty peculiar dream I had. When I woke up after having said dream, it felt uncomfortable when I closed my eyes so I ended up staring at the ceiling for a few hours. At first I felt normal but after a while I had to cut the stream short because I had trouble focusing so I went to do more casual things like watching Youtube videos, playing with Wesley and playing Dragon Age Origins, a highly strategic game, on Hard. Then before I knew it, it was around 9:30pm so I was planning to browse teh interwebz a last time before watching some more Youtube videos, or a Pokemon episode or three, but when I stumbled across that one dating site I'm on and which I haven't gotten any message from anyone in months, I noticed someone had visited my profile so I went to her profile, liked what I saw and started typing her a message when she messaged me first. The first thing she asked was "What kinda vidyas do you like?". I like her already. We continued messaging each other (you read massaging for a sec there didn't you Orkekum :P?) while I played Minecraft, mostly talking about vidyas and animes. She's mostly a console gamer and I'm mostly a PC guy, but we're both studying in the same domain and we both like the same genres :o. I make it sound like we chatted endlessly but we actually only sent six messages combined (oh wait did I say messages? I meant short stories xD). Plus we only talked for half an hour before she stopped responding; prolly went to play a game or something. Anyway, I kept playing Minecraft on the awesome server I play on and generally having a fun time but at the same time I was thinking about my dream and feeling nostalgic. Not the good kind of nostalgia.

Here's the thing: I already had that dream in the past. The last time I described it to someone, that someone died within the week. She got hit by a car, miraculously survived, her ambulance got hit by a car and she died a few days later after multiple surgeries; she was really broken everywhere but tough as a bean and looked like she was gonna make it since she was stabilizing when she died in her sleep one night. I won't tempt the Fates by describing it again.

Her name was Cindy, she was 16 at the time and I considered her my little sister. She considered me her brother and her real brother considered me a weirdo. We played FlyFF together for, man, YEARS and I introduced her to the fandom in 2009 where she met friends and lovers. She was the most lovable and sensitive girl you've ever met, everybody's concerns deeply affected her, she cared for everybody and tried to help everyone, often mistreating herself in the process. She was an angel and a saint and died on July 8th, 2010.

I miss you Cindy.