Valerie/Valfreyja/Brynhilðr: So yeah, I've disappeared for a while.

It's a pretty unfortunate thing, but I've been dealing with a lot of things one after another from the beginning of 2019 till the end of 2021, and coupled with burnout, it's been hard to to be more social outside of my own close friend and family circles. One of the biggest factor was in one of my former friends who have treated me pretty poorly, exploited me as an artist and twisted my arm several times to undercharge myself, while constantly negging my personal growth as "overly political." After a while, he and I argued over the mask and lockdown mandates, and have decided that he's a toxic influence in my life, and cut him out as a result. Considering that he had wished that I lost my job that I got a couple of years ago, and got laid off after a week from, so he could have me all to himself as a personal supply of emotional labour, it is one of the better decisions I've made. I am still recovering from the burnout effects from his abusive tendencies.

The rest of 2019 had been rough too, there has been quite a few connections I have lost as a result of having escaped the alt-right furry cults back in 2018. These were former friends that I had tried and failed (mostly) to shepherd out of those toxic places, and it had been a source of a lot of recent trauma that I am still dealing with. On the plus side, that was when I discovered that I am non-binary, and also plural.

I didn't remember much of 2020. That year didn't have much happening for us uniquely considering that everything have been obscured by the trauma of the rise of COVID-19. I did move with my bio-family to a new apartment where we are staying currently. I also released a new mini-album on March that year. On July, I discovered a new alter within me who apparently split following the trauma that happened in 2018 that got us to escape from those alt-right furry cults. Her name is Julayla, you may notice that my profile page has been updated to reflect their identity, more on that later. Speaking of which...

Julayla: Hi there, my name is Ismene Julayla Tovah Grimaude, and I am the current host of this plural system. I was created a decade ago as a traumagenic split due to dysphoric distress, but later merged back into Val when we started to transition back in 2015, and up until mid-2018, I stayed dormant. Mid-2018 I split from Val due to internal conflict and trauma, and was sealed away until July 2020. When I emerged again, I started to heal from the brainwashing and trauma I suffered during 2015-2018, and started to figure out who I am. Unfortunately, I ended up disappearing for a few months following a betrayal from someone who we once saw as an adoptive brother to our found family and only really emerged at the end of the year.

2021 has been.....a hectic year. At the beginning, of the year me and Val grew close and we started becoming intimate partners. Yes, a relationship with a headmate, it happens. I also got roped into creating a track for the Year 3 Furry Music Anthology album (Track 14) by the friends I've made at the beginning of that year. That album was meant to raise funds for the Trevor Project, so that was a pretty big accomplishment. I've also participated in a GameJam on July that lead to the creation of a rough build of an RPG Maker game I'd like to polish later on. As a result of all of this, I've ended up exploring my own non-humanity, our spirituality as an animist, and our gender as also non-binary. I've also ended up being a part and closer member of a friend group for nonhumanity, a plural support group, and a handful of RPG Maker/Indie game dev communities. Another thing that happened is in May where a new alter, Alyssa 'Illteny' Ephraim had appeared and asserted themself in our headspace, and I ended up becoming the new system host.

It's been a long time coming as Val had been in dire need of a break from life for the longest time, and felt that I was a good fit. Another reason was that we also suffered from two more very traumatic events where we lost people we thought we could trust to their abusive tendencies, one of which had caused val to fracture and separate into 3 alters. Val's gotten better eventually, but like, they decided to stay separate but integrated, instead of merging like last time. They also ended up discovering that they are more specifically a femmeflux bigenderfluid fae, and have come to terms with their masculine side. Then at the end of the year, we discovered that we most likely are manic-depressive and have been for the longest time.

I think all in all, this year has been the year where the most changes, trauma, and growth had happened to us. Let 2022 be the year of healing. I think I'll be uploading backlogged artwork shortly after posting this, so stay tuned.