EDIT 1/4/2022, I highly recommend reading my following journal for a list of fursonas and fursuits Ryan Hill uses. He constantly tries to rejoin dA and fA by hiding his identity behind different fursonas so people don't recognize him. https://www.weasyl.com/journal/166855/update-ryan-hill-now-banned-from-da-and-fa
Edit 7/27/2022, minor re-writes. Due to his recent activity retweeting a Nazi group on twitter, I have added that he is likely a racist, and also added that he claimed responsibility to a bomb threat at Anthrocon in 2014 and the threat to Further Confusion he sent me in September 2021.
EDIT 10/26/2022, I've seen Ryan becoming more hateful online recently, so I've added an anecdote about a video he sent me in the early 2010s in which he did a Jewish impression that might have hinted at him being antisemitic, and I've added a few extra sentences towards the end about his delusional beliefs growing worse and how he has no life outside of the Internet.
EDIT 10/28/2022, added an addendum to my PAW Con 2019 experience with Ryan. I wasn't the only artist he tried to arrange an in-person meeting with that month!
EDIT 7/15/2023, added that Ryan also attended Further Confusion 2017, and video evidence of him attending both FC'16 and FC'17.
EDIT 8/28/2023, some former FC chairpeople have recently spoken out about corruption within the con board members being sympathetic to zoophiles and sex predators. This might explain why Ryan was allowed to attend FC despite his dangerous history.

This is a person I've wanted to speak out about for the past 6 years, but I've remained quiet because I was advised not to give them attention. I also didn't want to risk this person retaliating against me, or have my name associated with him since we are ex-friends. I've cut this person out of my life years ago and don't want to hear from them anymore, however they persist in trying to contact me again. Because of this continued harassment, I've decided it's time I spoke up and shared my experiences with this individual, how I watched them turn bad and the red flags they were giving off. I'm now afraid if I don't say anything, this person's actions could escalate and do more serious harm than just being an annoyance on the web. This will be a lengthy journal because it covers the past 11 years of my life. If you don't have the time to read all of this, I'll give a short summary.

I am talking about the infamous furry troll Ryan Hill.

TL;DR Ryan Hill aka Windoge957 on fA and SmileDog69/Buckaroo on dA is a stalker, doxxer, art thief, scammer, ban evader, white supremacist, and potentially violent, having claimed to be the perpetrator of the Anthrocon'14 bomb threat, the MFF'14 chlorine attack, making gun threats against BLFC'15, and threatening FurCon'22. If he tries to contact you, block him immediately and report his account. Do not accept any commissions from him or give him any of your contact details, and do not try to harass him back since that could incite him further.

For anyone concerned that I'm am doxxing Ryan by using his real name, Ryan has already made accounts with his full name such as his first dA account RyanHill92 and his first fA account RyanHill9. Even when he makes accounts that don't use his real name though, he added "owned by Ryan Hill" on a reference sheet for a fursona of his named Windoge. Examples from Deviant Art and one of Ryan's previous fA sock accounts: https://archive.is/Usqu8 https://archive.is/HVeTs Some of you reading this may have heard of his name before on Facebook or Twitter where furry artists complain about him stealing art, impersonating deceased furries, and refusing to pay artists that draw for him. Or you may have heard about him as a suspect in the 2014 MFF chlorine attack, or his arrest at BLFC'15. However I knew Ryan before all of that had happened. Bizarrely, he did used to be more 'normal" at one time. Yet even when he was "normal," he still displayed very strange behavior that I should have taken more seriously at the time. I don't know why Ryan behaves the way he does, so don't expect any revelations about how his family treated him or his life before joining the furry fandom. However I do think my experiences are a cautionary tale about who you keep as friends and realizing if someone does not respect your boundaries, then they may not be worth keeping around.

He first started messaging me in 2010 on Deviant Art, and at the time he just seemed like someone who was looking for a friend. He became my first Skype contact and the first person I'd really talk about furries with. While he did come off friendly, he also came off rather needy too, often asking if the two of us could meet since we were both in the Bay Area. He'd tell me about how lonely he felt, and I guess at the time I took pity on him and tried to be as friendly as I could online. I was wary about meeting a total stranger over the web, but eventually we arranged a meeting at my art college and I showed him a walk cycle I did for my platypus character Shank. We would mostly talk with each other online, but we would meet in person a few more times afterward such as going over to his apartment and seeing World War Z in the theater together in 2013. He'd even watch a couple of my art livestreams. Ryan was mostly friendly, but at times he did really strange things. Skype hasn't saved my oldest messages, so I have to do my best relying on my memories of conversations we had. He'd sometimes ask questions about what shoes I was wearing and whether he could have any old shoes I didn't want anymore, because he had a fetish for shoe odor. I found the request too strange and never sent him any shoes of mine. He had a bizarre interest in conspiracy theories, such as one time in a Skype call telling me he thought markings on the surface of the Moon were left by aliens. One time I mentioned to him that I had a younger sister and he asked if he could see a photo of her. I said no because I didn't feel comfortable sharing a photo of my sister with a stranger over the web, however Ryan didn't accept my answer and would repeatedly ask me to send a photo of her again and again, which came off kinda creepy to me. He once told me that he had AIDS, but he'd never tell me about the treatments he was getting or seeing doctors so I figured he was only saying it to make me pity him. He also once sent me an unsolicited video where he filmed his crotch and it looked like he was peeing thru his pants. But for whatever reason I was too forgiving and thought just asking Ryan not to do these things would make him stop. Another time he shared a few silly videos with me that weren't him being gross. I don't remember what exactly he did in these videos, but in one of them he was in his backyard and did this strange impression of a Jew. At the time I just thought Ryan was just joking around, but this video became less funny when years later I'd see Ryan posting a Jewish "happy merchant" meme on Facebook and calling Ukraine "Jewkraine" on Twitter during the 2022 Ukraine-Russia war, making me wonder if he secretly harbored antisemitic feelings for years. While Ryan never sent any more inappropriate videos after that peeing video, he would start constantly sharing dirty diaper art and typing weird magic age regression spells, and he'd ignore me when I asked him to stop many times. While I did not share his interests in diapers or age regression, we did share a liking for paws. Ryan was into shoe and sandal loss art and I thought it would be a good idea to introduce him over Skype to Backlash who shared the same interest. Introducing Ryan to Backlash would end up being a grave mistake on my part though, and eventually led to my friendship with Ryan crumbling.

A few months after we had seen World War Z, Ryan said he'd be interested in an animation commission from me and a commission from Backlash. However for whatever reason, Ryan refused to pay Backlash, and he never paid me for the animation commission either (I didn't start on it anyway since I was waiting to be paid first, so I didn't lose any time). Ryan had paid me for commissions in the past so I had no idea why he suddenly backed out on the both of us, and he refused to give a coherent explanation when I asked him. Not only did I feel hurt by the way Ryan had treated both me and Backlash, he was also becoming increasingly more weird and continued posting dirty diaper art over Skype despite me asking him many times to stop, and I was growing very tired of him being so needy and asking if we could hang out again. So I started talking to him less and less. In June 2014, a bomb threat was made to Anthrocon. It ended up being an empty threat, however shortly after furries started leaving comments on forums saying that Ryan had taken credit for the threat. I had missed this news though and didn't learn about Ryan's supposed involvement until later. When the MFF 2014 gas attack happened later in December, I started to see comments online that Ryan had claimed to be the perpetrator and that he was sending death threats to other artists online. I didn't believe what I was reading. This couldn't be the same Ryan I had once known, could it? Personally, I think Ryan is lying when he claims responsibility for the chlorine attack since the apartment I saw him living in was very small, which makes me doubt he could afford a trip from California to Illinois. It's also questionable whether Ryan had made the initial bomb threat against AC'14, or if someone else made the threat and Ryan falsely claimed credit afterward. It's probably just an attention seeking tactic. I don't remember if I had any interactions with Ryan over Skype in-between December 2014 and May 2015, when he'd commit an act that would gain him more notoriety by the fandom at large. I was jobless at the time and didn't have any money to join my friends attending BLFC that year, so I kept an eye on twitter to see what was going on at the con. It didn't take me long to see that someone was arrested at BLFC for making gun threats against the con, and the perpetrator was none other than Ryan Hill himself.

After that, I just completely lost it. I frantically texted my friends at the con to make sure they were ok. They weren't even aware that someone had been arrested or even knew who Ryan Hill was. I probably scared them with how much I was panicking. I just couldn't believe it. How could Ryan do something like this? As weird as he could be, I never thought he could be violent. I was in disbelief when I read about Ryan and the MFF gas attack, but I couldn't be in denial this time since Ryan was caught on Facebook prior to attending BLFC posting a selfie where he had a gun, and his arrest photos were all over furry twitter. Eventually I was informed that Ryan hadn't actually taken a real gun with him to the con, but I was still terrified at what he could have done, going on a shooting spree and harming or killing friends I had made. It made me re-evaluate all the seemingly happy memories I had with Ryan. All the times we had met in person, was he secretly thinking of harming me? The time we saw World War Z together was now especially scary to me since after we saw the movie, Ryan invited me to his apartment and asked his mom to buy us a pizza. What if while the two of us were alone, Ryan flipped out and decided to attack me? Was Ryan always demented from day one when he first noted me on dA? In hindsight, I now realize that I should have taken his bizarre behavior like sending me that video of his crotch as serious red flags. But even then, how does one leap from writing weird magic spells and sharing unsolicited dirty diaper art, to making threats against artists and furry cons? I had no answers. All I did know was that the friend I thought I knew was gone and had become a different, horrible person. While I never considered Ryan a "best friend," he was someone I had opened my heart to in the four years we'd known each other. Seeing Ryan make threats against a con where I had other friends attending felt like the ultimate betrayal of my trust. It didn't help shortly after Ryan's arrest, an idiotic furry you tuber KhordKitty interviewed Ryan in an attempt to show Ryan wasn't as "dangerous" as people thought he was. It disgusted me to see Khord reward Ryan by giving him attention. The interview ended up futile though, as Ryan was very scatter-brained and uncooperative answering any questions, and eventually his furry-hating mommy hijacked the interview. I do have to wonder if when his mother spoke negatively about all the furries Ryan was interacting with, she meant people like me since I was one of those furry friends her son would meet with on occasion. I still had Ryan as a contact on Skype for a while after BLFC'15, and I'd see him occasionally type hi to me, trying to initiate conversation once again. I didn't delete Ryan immediately because I didn't know what to do with him. I thought of trying to talk to him and explain how much I felt hurt by his actions at BLFC'15. But if there was anything good that came out of KhordKitty's lame interview, it was showing me that there was no getting thru to Ryan. He'd do nothing but make excuses and lie about what he'd done. After sometime, I finally blocked Ryan and hoped I would never hear or see him again.

Unfortunately we would cross paths at least one more time. Half a year later, FC'16 occurred and I was happy I made it into the marketplace at the last minute... only for my happiness to turn to dread when I saw Ryan was attending the con. I went to con ops to report him, and they tried to reassure me by telling me they knew who he was but they would keep an eye on him and kick him out the moment he caused any trouble. That was such bullshit. A dangerous person like Ryan should have never been allowed to attend in the first place. This kind of permissive attitude is what allows sex offenders like Growly and Sangie to continue attending cons even after their illegal activities are exposed. And I wasn't the only person who complained about Ryan being at FC'16. Several con-goers tweeted their complaints about Ryan being present, but FC staff ignored their concerns. https://archive.ph/kNVrz Some con-goers even photographed Ryan, showing he was very disheveled. https://archive.is/Xcv2Q The entire time I was at FC'16, I was scared Ryan might attack again and I was constantly checking my back to make sure he wouldn't sneak up on me. I tried to avoid him as much as I could but on one occasion Ryan and I happened to pass each other twice by random, and both times he gave me these creepy death stares. Despite not seeing me in over two years, he still remembered me. A few days later I was at my marketplace table and Ryan came up to me and said hi, asking if I remembered who he was. I faked being polite and said yes, I remember we saw World War Z together, and then he left. I had to do my best not to give into my temptation to beat his ass on the spot, or interrogate him about what he had done at BLFC'15. While I had an enjoyable time at FC'16 overall, meeting Ryan Hill again will be a blight on that experience. I wanted to hope again that would be the last time I'd see Ryan. FC staff didn't learn their lesson after 2016 and allowed Ryan to attend again in 2017. Once again, a few con goers complained but were ignored. One attendee posted video proof of Ryan at the con on Vine. https://vine.co/v/535WDF3pwun I briefly saw Ryan in the dealer room, but thankfully he didn't visit me this time and we never crossed paths like in 2016. I nearly forgot I saw Ryan that year until a few months ago when I rediscovered photos I covertly took of him in 2017. I was unsure it really was him until I compared my photos to that Vine video. It makes me angry that FC allowed Ryan to attend not once, but TWICE. As far as I know, Ryan has not attended FC or any other furry conventions again. I continued to have no contact with Ryan over Skype or Telegram and I hoped he would just forget about me. But while I tried to stop thinking about Ryan, little did I know that Ryan wouldn't stop thinking about me.

-Addendum, Aug 2023- I may now have an answer to why Ryan was allowed to attend FC. Two former volunteers for the con recently spoke out with very serious allegations that several of the board members of FC were friends with zoophiles and sex predators, and as a result they were reluctant to ban people known to be sex pests or had credible evidence of abusing animals. Screencaps of conversations they had with the main chairperson of FC have been provided as evidence. This refusal to vet attendees is probably how Ryan was allowed to attend, and also explains why other infamous figures such as fursuiter Growly were allowed to attend the con for years. I enjoy going to FC, but it's extremely disheartening to learn how the board members did not take attendee safety seriously and tried to shut down any con staff that disagreed. Some links will be provided below.
https://twitter.com/corviphagy/status/1693029944392102118
https://twitter.com/fennecuskitsune/status/1692623433484374396
https://twitter.com/fennecuskitsune/status/1693473320006787261

In October 2019, I was getting ready for a dealer table at PAW Con'19 when a user named Happy-Fox DMed me on fA asking for a commission and provided a character reference. I let Happy-Fox know that I'd be preparing for PAW Con in November, and he said he could meet me at the con to pick up the drawing and pay me there. I agreed to the plan, and shortly after sent a WIP of the drawing. However looking thru Happy-Fox's gallery, I started to notice much of the art wasn't his own and he got many comments complaining he was stealing other people's characters. Looking at the reference I was given, I realized that the character I was drawing was also stolen. I felt conflicted, because I didn't want to draw a stolen character but I also wanted to be paid for the work I had done. I asked a few art friends online for advice on what to do and they suggested I just cancel the commission altogether. I sent Happy-Fox a message saying that I was canceling the commission, and at the same time I noticed that Happy-Fox had posted a ref sheet of the Confederate fursuiter. Posting artwork of an offensive fursuit struck me as internet troll behavior and I realized something was not right with Happy-Fox. A few minutes later, Happy-Fox sent me two notes, one of them angrily insulting me for canceling the commission, and then the second one was a link on dA where Happy-Fox had posted my WIP drawing against my wishes. Happy-Fox did not think this plan through though, because he chose to use his real name in his Deviant Art account name, RyanHill9. I couldn't believe it. Ryan came to me with a pseudonym so I wouldn't recognize him, and I had inadvertently told him a time and place he could meet me! I reported both his fA and dA accounts to get them banned, and I also reported him to PAW Con in case he tried to attend. Thankfully he never arrived, though that showed he may have had no intention of attending or paying me, so I felt miffed he had cheated me out of a commission. It's because of this incident I wrote myself a commission TOS with the stipulation I would not draw stolen characters. I had only caught Ryan this time due to his stupidity, so from then on I'd be a lot more wary of any suspicious commissioners asking me for art.

Another addendum, recently I've learned the same month "Happy-Fox" reached out to me, Ryan also tried to arrange an in-person meeting with a fursuit maker TheHuntingWolf to buy a horse fursuit. HuntingWolf thankfully figured out this mystery commissioner speaking to her was actually Ryan before they met, and she canceled the commission and tweeted about what had happened. https://archive.ph/gKSZN The behavior Ryan displayed with HuntingWolf is exactly what Ryan was like when he used to talk to me on Skype. He was very needy and impatient, saying "hi" multiple times, begged for art, and asked creepy questions about what shoes HuntingWolf likes to wear despite not sharing Ryan's interest in paws. I don't know if Ryan seriously intended to meet up with either HuntingWolf or me. A Facebook status in October 2019 reveals that Ryan hung out at a hookah lounge in Millbrae, so he probably could have visited PAW Con in San Jose if he wanted since Millbrae and San Jose are only a one hour drive apart. HuntingWolf however lived in SoCal at the time, and I don't know if Ryan would be able to take a trip that far south. In their messages, Ryan lied to HuntingWolf and said he lived closer in Los Angeles, so it's possible Ryan was going to no-show HuntingWolf just to humiliate her. Whatever Ryan may have been planning, it's still incredibly creepy that he tries to arrange in-person meetings with artists that don't know who he is, or possibly scam artists by not showing up and paying them. It's frightening that his harassment of artists could go beyond online antics and cross into real life stalking.

It's now 2021, and I guess the Covid pandemic and furry cons being closed has made Ryan desperate for interaction. He finally came back to me asking me for art again in March under the username BabyFursUnite however this time I recognized his usual signs, stolen art, favoriting lots of paw and dirty diaper art. He once again asked me to draw a character for him and provided a character reference from a Deviant Art account SmileDog69. Investigating that account, I noticed that Ryan had artwork drawn by furry artist Dean Rumsey, an acquaintance of my friend WaxBadger. We asked Dean about these drawings, and Dean explained to us that Ryan had pressured them over telegram to draw artwork of a stolen character that they weren't comfortable with. It made WaxBadger and me very angry that Ryan had manipulated someone the both of us knew. The BabyFursUnited account and another sock account I found RealWindoge95 have both been banned. I'd like to get the SmileDog69 account banned too, but Deviant Art's reporting system is very convoluted and infractions like art theft can only be reported by the person who had their art stolen. But it looks like Ryan is growing more persistent because instead of leaving me alone for two years, he's come back three months later with a new sock account Windoge957. I will be trying to get that account and his current dA account Buckaroo both banned. Ryan's tactics never change, favoriting tons of paw and dirty diaper art, stealing people's characters, and harassing artists to draw for him without payment. Searching Ryan Hill on Google and Twitter will bring up numerous people talking about their negative experiences with Ryan. I've also spoken with a few other artists that have been targeted by Ryan and I'm shocked to learn that the harassment I've received is fairly mild compared to the torment others have had to put up with. And Ryan continues to grow more deranged over time. His interest in conspiracy theories has led him into believing Chris Chan-like delusions about alternate dimensions, spiritualism and aliens. He seemingly has no day job and leads a sad, pathetic life just spending all his time online antagonizing furry artists, buying or stealing other people's fursonas, and then vandalizing them with his diaper and scat fetishes. If an artist doesn't give into his demands, Ryan will falsely call them art thieves (projection on his part), zoophiles or p*dophiles. He's also blown who knows how much money on multiple fursuit heads, yet I'm sure most furry cons and meetups would now ban Ryan so he has no where he could fursuit at. And lately he has increasingly become more hateful in his online rhetoric, reposting images of the Confederate fursuiter, and posting racist and transphobic comments online. No matter how much push back he gets or how many times he is re-banned, Ryan never gets a clue why people do not want to be friends with him. Despite all the threats he's made online, Ryan's kill count remains at zero. I hope it stays at that number, but I do sometimes worry what if one day he has another violent outburst. His interest in conspiracies could make him susceptible to being recruited into dangerous movements like Qanon, although I'd imagine Qanoners would expel Ryan very quickly once he starts spamming their chats with dirty diaper art.

Why did I go into such detail about my experiences? First, to raise awareness to be careful who you make friends with online. Ryan displayed many warning signs that he was untrustworthy and did not respect people's boundaries, yet I ignored them and didn't think they were a big deal until it was too late. Second, KhordKitty's interview with Ryan is uninsightful and shitty, so I want this warning to be a more comprehensive explanation of who Ryan Hill is. Obviously I don't know details like what Ryan's upbringing was like, so I can't psychoanalyze why he behaves the way he does. However I also don't know of any other furries that were friendly with Ryan as long as I was, so I hope some of my observations may be useful to better understand him. Most people only know Ryan as a troll or terrorist, but they don't know there was a time when he used to be more amiable. But that's what scares me about Ryan the most. He can act friendly sometimes, but I'm afraid this may only be a facade for his very disturbed mind. If you see Ryan using a sock account on dA, fA, Facebook, Twitter or some other site, block him immediately and report him. He has stolen art, impersonated other fursuiters, and ban evaded multiple times on many websites so finding an infraction to report him on won't be difficult. And please, DO NOT harass Ryan back. Ryan is probably mentally ill and responding to him with hatred will not improve his condition, neither will it convince him to stop his behavior. It might incite him to just act even worse.

In closing, if by any chance Ryan Hill happens to read this, this will be my final message to you. I don't know what you've been thru in your life but from our conversations, you seem to me you had a difficult upbringing. Discovering the furry fandom was probably very exciting for you and was a way you could talk to people with similar interests. But your actions have alienated everyone around you. If you have any sanity left in you, I wish you could understand how much pain you have caused me and everyone else that has had to put up with you. Befriending you and encouraging you to join fA all those years ago was one of the biggest mistakes I have made in my life. Stop trying to contact me or any other artists and leave the furry fandom NOW. I know that you feel very lonely and wish to make friends, but friendships can't be built when you antagonize everyone around you, shoving your dirty diaper and age regression obsessions in the faces of people who do not share the same interests, disrespecting artists by refusing to pay them and stealing their artwork or OCs without permission. It makes me sad you only think about yourself and never about others, and as a consequence you choose to destroy every genuine friendship you could have had for no good reason. You now try to take advantage of everyone you befriend, either manipulating someone to do what you want, or tormenting someone for your own sick pleasure. And your descent into delusional conspiracy theories makes me worry you'll become more and more unhinged from reality, preventing you from seeing reason or understanding the harm you're doing to yourself and others. I'd recommend contacting California mental health services or getting a therapist of some kind. Get treatment now before it's too late and you do something that gets you arrested again or lands you in even worse trouble.