But that's okay.

So while at my grandparents' house yesterday, I showed my grandmother the recent thing I painted (because showing your grandparents your accomplishments never stops feeling good :V) and then I found a bunch of my old crap on her machine from 3+ years ago. I was going to delete it all but then she demanded I not do that, she keeps everything of mine, regardless of how terrible it is or not. (I love my grammy ;v)

So, for shits and giggles I decided to upload some of it to my dA scrapbook. Here, look at the amazing artist I was in 2010 and earlier, gaze in wonderment at my infinite knowledge of MS Paint and bad grammar.

http://kazeskyfox.deviantart.com/art/Pickel-389212346

http://kazeskyfox.deviantart.com/art/What-happens-at-3am-389213689

Here's the thing: I am not a cool artist. I never started off with some amazing art talent. A lot of cool artists show me their art from 5 years back and complain about flaws I cannot see, meanwhile their at they believe is terrible might even look better than my art currently, or at least like skills I have only recently grasped.

And then there's me, too embarrassed about my old art to do anything but nod and agree most of the time. Most of the cool people drew like I did when I was 18 when they were 10. When I was making terrible comics in 9th grade, they were far superior to my level. When I was yelling at my art teacher in 10th grade for dissing anime, they were making still-life paintings like Cezanne on crystal meth. When I was making terrible MS Paint fanart while alternately flaming the sonic fandom 3 years ago, they were painting landscapes like a Bob Ross.

I am anything but a special snowflake. I was not born with Michelangelo's blessing, I did not demonstrate phenomenal ability at age 5, I never took art classes, I didn't win any awards, and I've never been to a proper art college.

But, you know what? I think that's okay. I talk to a lot of people online who also think I'm some kind of art god, I run into people all the time who are impressed with me, I see people say how they can't even draw a stick figure or understand color theory, I see people who joke about how great their MS Paint art looks, I see people who say they used to draw in school but lost interest when they saw how amazing other kids their age were on the internet, and my heart goes out to all those people, but the truth is, I'm not that impressive. I was exactly like them until roughly 2 years ago. All my ability (as proud of it as I am) just came from practice and watching other people and how they drew. Really, that's all, no relation to Da Vinci or sacrificing a black lamb involved.

Of course I'm still embarrassed about it, I'm human, I want to be cool and special, I wish I were like one of those phenomenal artists who was always 50 levels above everyone like a Skyrim guard on Expert difficulty.

But I'm not, I just tried really hard and took good advice from good people. I'm not cool but that's okay, my fans love me anyway. And so do I. :V