So, for those who may not be in the know, a fellow fur by the name of Zidonuke passed away last week.
I would consider Zido a close friend, we shared a friendship that involved a bit more than casual conversation that I am not too open to doing with most folks. The circumstances of our friendship were rather silly; we talked sometime during my rebel against Furaffinity phase, in which it began with me essentially trash talking him!
Zido, at the time, had a fairly recent reputation of being a known hacker and causing a fair share of mishaps in the furry fandom and beyond. Once it was known that he was the secret programmer FA had working on the infamous FA 2.0. I had taken it upon myself to call out the absurdity of having a known hacker be in charge of deep banks of personal information from members of the fandom.
Despite these series of events and the immense drama that followed after (Dragoneer again thank you for restoring my account ilu bb <3) we actually became friends and through exploration of mutual interests we became close friends.
Sadly, Zidonuke was involved in something outright horrifying, I won't divulge the details here but they aren't hard to find. This made it difficult for me to talk to him, I had a lot of intrusive thoughts and put myself in a "what if it were me" scenario too often.
I did get a few chances to talk, though I never talked about what I had felt, I always felt it was best to just avoid the subject entirely and try and move past it. I regret not having done so when I had the chance but I cannot change that fact and must press onward.
I miss him, and I wish the latter events of our friendship never happened. I will not discuss any more about the details of our friendship or the details of his passing and I appreciate the privacy for me and for those also close to him.
While his reputation may be left with a fair amount of wrong-doing, he was all in all a very sweet person who cared greatly for his friends and wanted to do nice things for them.