Hey, I usually don't like complaining about my life to you guys but I kind of need to empty my mind for a bit. I'll apologize beforehand to those of you who aren't in the mood to read about some rando's depressing life problems.
Well, Where to start... I've just kind of lost interest in pretty much anything. Motivation is hard to find and dissipates fast. I can't concentrate that well anymore and I feel like I am mentally degrading to the point it feels like I am watching a movie about my life through a foggy camera lens. I can't get myself to do even the most basic of things without a tremendous amount of effort. I find myself staring at things, trying to calm my thoughts and keep me from blaming myself for irrelevant things that happened in the past. I rarely leave the house and lost contact with pretty much everyone I used to talk with online or offline except for my girlfriend. [Thank god for that] It feels like something is leeching my energy and cognitive abilities away from me while I waste away doing nothing. I lose interest in everything I try, any hobby I try to pick up or new thing I try ends up not helping...
I'm physically healthy, I have no shortage of vitamins or anything that could cause me to actually be sick. I exercise every day and force myself to try and be productive, but it is getting harder and harder to keep going. I've been home for a year now after I managed to graduate from college and I hoped that it would've allowed me to relax and regain my energy so I could find a job and get my shit together. Looking back now I have no idea how I made it through college at all without collapsing more than once. [ I actually had a burnout halfway through my third year and had to stay home for 3 months] I still have nightmares about my old house and I am starting to get new ones that don't make any sense. They all boil down to me getting hurt some way without being able to call for help or anything... I stay up way to late and sleep till around 2 PM.
I constantly doubt my own skills and I am afraid to start new projects or take commissions because I fear that I am going to prove that little nagging voice in my head right by failing. I am affraid to disappoint myself yet by doing so I am disappointing myself. Makes no sense huh? I know.
I don't know what to do with my life and I have nowhere to go, no plans nor experience. I live day by day... if you can call it living at all.

I didn't mean to ruin your day and I know I do not deserve your pity, but I no longer know what to do.
If you have any advice or tips on what I should do, feel free to leave em down bellow. I'm going to try and sleep now.