I don't really want to dwell on too much because this year was such a shit burger. I'm glad to see it go even if I'm dreading the incoming year as a surely bigger clusterfuck. It just felt like a long running 12 months of things going to pot for one reason or another. That said here's a really fucking long post ruminating on this entire year that I spent most of the afternoon/evening writing.

I mean it started off on some pretty bad feet to begin with. One of the family dogs had been sick since the summer, she was getting on in age and she went blind and diabetic and it went downhill over several months til finally we put her down in December '15. Which is then when my grandmother fell and broke her shoulder, so that was a couple months recovering. In the meantime, I had to hit up the ER due to a pretty bad bronchial infection so that floored me for 4 days straight (I went to urgent care first on the start of day 3 when I kept gagging and throwing up, I was so dehydrated they had to admit me to the ER) ate up all my sick leave and ended up costing me something like 2500, though I got to pay that in payments (and this was -after- the insurance)

Then mom passed away after a very harrowing weekend. So that was a pretty big blow to the family on a lot of levels. Til my grandmother had a stroke in June, which just made things even more complicated as my asshole uncles took over her affairs and convinced her to sell her house and move into a new one. So on top of having to help her recover and get her strength back, we're having to pack up her large house and clean everything up (again under the direction of my asshole uncles) and box everything up and move it, mostly while getting yelled at we weren't doing enough to help. Grandmother wanted to stay in town instead of the physical therapy facility one town over, so her recovery took longer, once she was able to start walking again she moved to an assisted living facility after a brief one week stint at my uncle's. Then she fell and broke her wrist, which meant a total pause to her recovery. Luckily it healed faster than they thought so she's back to using a walker and regularly going to physical therapy and we've got her mostly settled into the new house. Still miss mom a lot and trying to help dad cope. The holidays haven't been easy, I"m actually glad they're over with for another year.

Throw in some car trouble for good measure so I lost it for about three weeks, had to take it to the shop and let it sit while they got a part that was on backorder. And 2 days after getting it back, my battery up and died. The upshot was I was able to drive grandma's car around in the meantime and only the battery cost me anything.

Then there was the election. 'Nough said.

And all the celebrity deaths. Oh and one of the three folks I know in town well moved away (better opportunities, so I certainly don't blame him).

So lots and lots of shit to go around. Things are sort of settling in with the family. My youngest sister got married (the ceremony was.... something) and had her 2nd kid so I'm a gay uncle for the 3rd time. Grandma is doing better, though still adjusting to everything and still getting her strength back (though they keep telling her she'll get all her faculties back). My uncles have backed off for the most part (and the one had his power of attorney revoked now she's better, they had something of a falling out but he's since apologized. She's still holding him at arm's length).

Also had the contract I work for change hands, so that was kind of stressful. Luckily I hated the old company and its management and so far the new company has worked out great, the only drawback being a slight paycut due to different benefits (paying more for my insurance). There was some friction for a bit about picking up new responsibilities and then having to deal with a massive backlog due to coworker foolishness but its largely smoothed out and we're losing the worst coworker soon, so hopefully we get someone as competent but less toxic. Fingers crossed.

The job has otherwise been a source of stability and comfort now that the new company has settled in and work is proceeding as normal. No more cunt program manager micromanaging everything, they seem content to let what works continue to work and my customers seem to think I work out just fine where I'm at. I'm really lucky to work with the people I do, I click well with them and they find me a good resource to have on hand, so it's a good working relationship. There has been a lot of churn in coworkers though, just many folks leaving for better opportunities or (before the company change) to get away from our awful management. Sadly had a very kind genetleman I worked with suffer a stroke too, hoping he recovers but haven't heard much.

Hopefully I might even get a raise in coming months but I'm not holding my breath. It's weird to think I've been at this job three years now, it doesn't feel like its been that long but it's been such a blessing, I've been able to support my family, it's let me purchase a new car when I needed it, I can pay bills, and enough discretionary income to indulge in hobbies and keep a savings.

Socially has been a mixed bag. I've drifted further from the local folks mostly because they've jsut had their own thing going on, as I said one friend moved away, one just has his own family (2nd wife, 3 kids) going on, the other has always been antisocial, didn't even know he'd lost his job for 2 months til his office called up (we used to work near me and our offices coordinated) and his coworker would only tell me 'he doesn't work here anymore' (turns out he got caught sleeping on the job by a higher up, got the boot). So yeah apparently he spends most of his time at home smoking weed and playing one of the star wars MMOs. So I tend to spend most of my time these days at work, at home on my comp, or running around doing stuff with the family, like my Dad and I have been taking my niece out to dinner once a week or so, gives them something to do and it's a nice meal (and we've discovered some really great places in town).

Furry, as usual, has been a lot more positive for me. I still feel like I've drifted away from some people, for one reason or another, but in general I feel like I'm a lot closer with more friends now than I think at any point prior. I feel loved and appreciated and I'm thankful every day for all the wonderful people I'm allowed to know. I also have been extraordinarily happy with all the commissions I've gotten this year, so much fantastic talent in the fandom now and I feel like I'm having better luck tailoring ideas to artists strengths and tastes.

I am still writing too. I know I haven't been posting anything but art for a while. I've got 1 finished story and a few scraps and snippets and things and a few projects started. I'd like to do a small folio to sell, calling this first one 'Growth Spurts' about transformation and muscle growth (and lots of gay sex) It'll be like 3 stories? Including the one I've already finished, and a couple others I've started. I've also started on a book! I've got one chapter done and I'm working at chapter 2 now, it's a bit slow going but it's a little project I've had in mind for a while and I'd like to eventually publish more of my writing. Just about one of the only drawbacks to my dayjob is since I work 10 hour days I usually get home feeling pretty worn out so my most creative days tend to be my weekends which, as you've seen above, have been pretty eaten up running around doing things with/for family, so things have been kind of stalled. Lately I've mostly just managed snippets I write at work and spam to friends, which you can check out on my tumblr for those following it (I will be posting a collection of them up here soon, maybe tomorrow). So yeah, I'm still working! Just haven't shown much of it.

This year has also been pretty good in terms of really awesome games and movies. For one I've been addicted to Warcraft's new Legion expansion, playing it and loving it a lot more than I did WOD (which isn't saying -much-, WOD set a very low bar) But the content has been a ton of fun, the new systems are great (Really loving the class centric order halls and the artifacts feel bad ass) Been really enjoying having a computer that can actually run games now, like I got into Diablo 3 a bit before Legion hit (need to get back to it.... at some point). I still think the story is pants on head stupid and its a revisionist history that no one wanted or asked for, but the gameplay is decently fun though I think Diablo 2 is still my all time favorite entry in the series. Likewise been digging my DS, still getting a lot of play out of it and recently picked up Pokemon Moon for Christmas and that's been pretty cute so far.

And come on, the movies this year? Totally nuts. Zootopia was fucking rad and the best furry thing to hit in ages. I just adore this movie and can't wait for the undoubtedly greenlit sequel. Admittedly, I wasn't thrilled with the climax but eh it's a small quibble compared to the living breathing world they gave us and all the fun colorful characters. Then there was Captain America: Civil War for some high octane super hero fun (Still need to buy that at some point) I still really enjoyed the new Ghostbusters whatever the haters say, it wasn't a perfect movie but it was still plenty of fun. The Warcraft movie likewise was critically panned but it got me nerding out a bunch and I enjoyed it. I also caught the latest Doctor Who christmas special and I really dug it, it wasn't perfect, in fact it was quite a bit hammy, but it felt like some old fashioned good fun and its probably my favorite of Capaldi, mostly because I'm glad Clara is out of the picture. Super super looking forward to the new season and the new companion, she looks totally like a blast. I'm hoping to catch Rogue One soon too. And I'm really excited for the new MST3k, it's been exciting seeing my swag roll in and now to wait for the new episodes to start, can't wait! And I know there's stuff I'm forgetting but it's been a pretty good year for fun geeky/furry stuff (And 2017, Guardians of the Galaxy 2? SQUEE!)

So yeah. 2016 overall was seriously a dumpster fire on a lot of levels. I don't think I've ever cried this much or this frequently in a year but there's just been whole swathes of it I've been stressed, depressed, or just devastated. There's been good things but they were really overshadowed by just... everything else.

But that in and of itself has led me to one simple resolve. Like this isn't some new year's reoslution, just, facing down the coming Age of Trump and gods knows what's that's going to bring, we all have to be prepared to fight and be prepared to defend ourselves. I can't really offer all that much, but I can say this: I'm going to keep being myself. I might be weird, I might be strange, I might be a misfit. But I am a living, breathing, worthwhile person that deserves the same rights and respect as other people and the best contribution I can think of to the coming battles is to be me, I'm going to continue writing, I'm going to keep putting out the things I love and for those I love to share them with, I am normal in my own way and I will not let anybody tell me I'm wrong, that I'm some kind of abomination not worthy of the things others take for granted. We deserve love and we will fight for it. And so, in my own way, I'm going to do that. I'm going to be there for my friends, I'm going to be a gay fox, I'm going to fight for my family, I'm going to keep writing and showing the world what I can do.

So yeah. Fuck 2016. Bring on 2017, it's going to be a fight and I'm going tooth and claw. Join me, won't you?