You know, before working in retail and seeing how awful human beings can be to each other. After quitting retail, I very very slowly began to like small aspects of it again - the lights, the decorations, the various green, white and red foods, all that. This year, I have been trying to fake some tiny wisp of Christmas spirit, but my acting skills aren't holding up and I just look like a crazy person. The fact that this has been a terrible year is kind of killing it for me. The fact that the next four years are going to be absolutely absurd is also doing in a lot of hopeful outlets for me. I know that's grim, but every time I try to convince myself that things are going to be fine, I see things like the media actively giving Neo Nazis a platform to share their opinions. I see other poor friends of mine scared that they will lose what little healthcare they have. I have several Muslim family members, and I'm terrified for their safety. I'm worried for my trans friends' safety. I'M scared to walk around my small rural town by myself. I'm trying to be all "ha ha, I ain't afraid of no ghosts"...but it's hard sometimes. The best that I can do is just keep doing my thing, I guess. And look into donating my time to the organizations that are going to need it the most in the coming year. Good thing I've got my sterilization appointment made, so that'll be one major task off my list.

So, yeah. Happy Yule. Be safe out there. If you have some of those racist-ass relatives, when you see them during the holidays, fight them.

--CHEERS--