It's been brought to my attention that I'm spamming with my GFM and Patreon stuff. I just want to issue a public apology and ask that anyone with questions about what my family is going through please reach out and ask me. Please express your concerns and let me know how you feel. I might have just lost a decade worth of friendship over this and I'm heartsick.

I know there are people out there much worse off than me. I'm pushing so hard to try and not end up in the place so many others are. But after this morning I'm... I'm just so sorry, everyone. I'm sitting here crying. I don't know what else to do.

I've tried to get a "straight job" for years. No one will hire me because of my physical limitations, and while I get more call-backs since I started transitioning (how messed up is that, by the way? Same stats, different gender and more people are willing to get to the second interview before they say I'm not right for the position), I still can't find a job that'll take me.

I worked DoorDash for about six months, only to have it destroy my car. The wheel bearing issue we're having now is a result of the literal thousands of miles we put on the car doing that job. And it still barely paid enough to be worth the gas spent. When what I've put out for repairs is considered, I was basically wasting my time.

So I've turned to trying to get my artwork business up and running, and trying to make money off my writing and artwork. But I'm not bringing in enough, fast enough to get us out of this hole we're in. My wife can't even handle the social obligations of being on her computer anymore. She's gotten worse, and while its expected to a point (she's about six months out from the latest TIA, which is when any new damage really presents itself) and it's frustrating to her because she used to be so outgoing and now for the first time in her life she's crippled at the idea of walking into a store and usually waits in the car for me.

But any progress I'm making is negated by losing people I care about because I'm constantly advertising. I ask for shares because I've already shared it everywhere I have access to and I need it to go farther. I've been following the instructions on sites that describe how to get information in front of as many people as possible. This includes sharing the GFM twice a day, updating once a week plus any time anything changes, and being proactive with sharing everywhere you can that might let you.

I've overstepped my bounds. I've posted to groups I shouldn't have. And I think my friend is right. I've become toxic.

I never wanted this to happen. And it's...it's not worth the help I've been getting because of it.

I'm not going to post for help on FB anymore. I'll keep updating my GFM when things happen, but I'm going to restrict my advertisement of my situation on my art sites and other places for once at the beginning and end of each month...and only if we can't get food or something vital.

I won't promise to stop sharing my Patreon information and posts. I won't stop sharing my blogs and videos. But I'm very sorry for spamming so much, and I'll cut back.

I'm really sick over this. I made a good friend have to drop me because of toxicity, and who knows how many others to drop or block me because of it. I just don't know.

I'm really grateful for you all. And thank you for all your help. I'm going to try and take it from here.

This post will be cross posted everywhere. I'm sorry if that means I'm spamming you one last time.