I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear at the mental hospital and I saw you pull the clothes off the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning our matching snoopy underwear to you, but I'll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Go milk a cow,
Dark Caine Fancypants ^v^
I stole a meme from someone else I saw do this. HOW TO DO IT: Dear (choose a random person) , I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12), (Your name) 1) What's the color of your shirt? Blue - I'm in love with your cat Red - Our affair is over White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you Black -Our romance is over Green- Our socks don't match Grey - You're a leprechaun Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - The mafia wants you No shirt - I'm joining the Convent Other -I dislike your eyelashes 2) Which is your birth month? January - That night you picked your nose February -When I quoted Forrest Gump March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on Nutella May - When I threw up in your sock drawer June - When you put cuffs on me July – When I saw the purple monkey August - When you smacked my ass September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub October -Last year when you peed your pants November - When your dog humped my leg December - When I finally changed my underwear 3) Which food do you prefer? Tacos - As you were eating Kraft Dinner Chicken- In your car Pasta - Outside of your office Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad – In your apartment Lasagna - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien Seafood - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert Pizza - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a street light Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper 4) What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Ignore Red - Put whipped cream on Black - Hit on Blue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - bit of Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the pants off of Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive over 5) What's the color of your underwear? Black - My boyfriend White - My father Grey – The Catholic Priest Brown – The Montreal Canadiens' goalie Purple - My corned beef hash Red – My knee caps Blue - My salt-beef bucket Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana Orange - My Blink 182 CD Pink – Your "My Little Pony" collection Other - The elephant in the corner 6) What do you prefer to watch on TV? One Tree Hill - Senile Heroes- Frostbitten Lost - High Simpsons- Cowardly The news - Scarred American Idol - Masochistic Family Guy - Open Top Model - Middle-class Annat -shamed House- Sterile 7) Your mood right now? Happy - How awful you are Sad - How boring you are Bored - That I get turned on only by my the garbage man Angry - That your smell makes me vomit Depressed – That we're related Excited - That I may pee my pants Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you Worried - That your Ford sucks Apathetic - That you need a sex-change Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid Other - That your driving sucks 8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Our matching snoopy underwear Yellow - Your love letters to me Red - The pictures from Vegas Black - Your pet rock Blue - The couch cushions Green - Your car Orange - Your false teeth Brown - Your nose hair clippers Grey - Your toe ring Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket Pink - The cut toenails 9) The first letter of your first name? A/B - Your collection of butterflies C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it E/F - Your neighbors dog G/H - The oil tank from your car I/J - Your left ear K/L - The results of that blood-sample M/N - Your glass eye O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T - Your virginity U/V - Your criminal record W/X – Your sucide note Y/Z - Your credit cards 10) The last letter in your last name? A/B - Get sick when I think of your feet C/D - Always will remember the pep talks E/F -Never will forget that night G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard. I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly K/L - Hate your cooking M/N - Love your sweet, sweet ass O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs S/T -Told in my confession today about the moose poaching U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart W/X - Haven't showered in a month Y/Z – am better off without you 11) What do you prefer to drink? Wine- Our friendship is ruined Soft drink – I love Oprah Milk - The apartment building is on fire Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war. Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird Whiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine Other – you should stop picking your nose 12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand – Warm tingly sensations France - Love always Spain - With tears of sadness China – You make me sick Germany – Please don't hurt me Japan - Go milk a cow Greece - Your everlasting enemy USA - Best of luck on the sex change Egypt – Kiss my butt England - Go drown yourself