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I'm lonely. by FrostyBeep
I'm lonely.
I haven't done anything with a friend in close to two years now. I am very extremely lonely and that hurts. I've got the internet and people there to talk to (I have to thank SCG for most of that) but once I log off I'm pretty alone. I don't have a car so I can't get anywhere. I don't have my license yet so I can't drive a car alone if I had one. I don't have a job because I've been waiting on a response from Job Corps and I don't want to get a job just to have to leave instantly to go off to do that. I'm not in college because I don't have money or a way to get to campus. Everything is pretty much screwed for me right now and I'm lonely.
My mom brought up that she thinks I might be depressed, but I waved it away because I'm pretty optimistic about life and things.
I'm starting to think she might be right.
Maybe I'll make an appointment with my doctor to get some antidepressants. It won't give me friends or any actual interaction with my peers, but it might help me to stop hating myself so much.
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I kind of do hate myself. I'm turning into everything that I don't want to be. I get angry with people over nothing and I'm not doing anything productive. I am a useless lump that does nothing and helps nothing.
Whatever. It's fine. I'll be ok.
Until the next,
Frosty
ps pls give hugs irl
I'm lonely.
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Comments
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I'm not interested in dying. That hasn't been anywhere in my head for years and years. I don't want to put anyone through that. I'm just... very alone.
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Depression can manifest itself in different ways, so your mom might not be too far off. I know that for me, it can manifest as rage, and I'll be pissed for days for seemingly no reason. Are you in a small area? It sounds like a a small area from the way you speak about your place, or maybe it seems small because you're feeling lonely.
I think that a job will definitely help you out. You'll get out of the house and into a work environment, meet new people, make friends, and I think it'll be a big help ^_^
-offers hugs-
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Yeah, it's a small town in the country. I've tried applying to every place I can get to on my own but I didn't get any responses. You're right, though. I should try again. I need to see more people who aren't related to me.
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hm.... your page says you're from west metro, MN. If that's the tru fax and I've got the right place, you're really not too far from me in the scope of things (though I can't drive either, oh boy)
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Civerakor
This, in no way at all, sickens me to hear. Heaven's outreach doesn't extend into anyone's life at all times.
You're good. You're no waste at all. I'm glad you're alive.
Don't think otherwise, EVER.