It is now 9 days from my birthday. I still don't know whats going on. The only sure thing that I know about for that weekend is that Waldolf and me will be going to the Bright Star Promotions Teddy Bear Show Sunday April 17th. https://www.facebook.com/123833847669221/photos/a.123836961002243.26048.123833847669221/1117104928342103/?type=3&theater
Valerie Rogers has always welcomed Waldolf at her shows and I enjoy suiting there, outside of a furry convention setting. The rest of the weekend, I don't know. I really should do SOMETHING on the actual birthday Saturday, but don't know. Is the family planning something? Should I go out and try to collect all the " free stuff" that business give you on your B-day? That doesn't appeal to me very much, plan on a party? yea right. Party that no one will come to? Images of the Bobby Brady's hero party comes to my mind. I don't want a party that I will be the one there. There are other things going on that Saturday as well. there is a weather balloon launch going on at C.O.D. http://weather.cod.edu/balloon/ and I do have some long time friends, I knew them , as she put it a few years ago, almost 1/2 of my life, for the bear show on Saturday. Do I go have dinner with them Saturday night? I don't know.
And then there is this dilemma I face every year. Its not just a birthday thing but its amplified for the b-day, Gifts. I have said over and over that I don't want any. One of the feeling I have is If someone gives me a gift What do they want in return? Do they expect a gift from me on there B-day? want me to do something for them latter? I know I shouldn't think like that, but that feeling comes up all the time, mostly at Xmas and on my B-day. Its that feeling counteracting with the other feeling I have , the other feeling is "ITS MY BIRTHDAY! I WANT STUFF!!!!" A totally self centered and greedy feeling. Now I am not thinking of any big here, but things that I like, a bear plush or other animal, if you are and artist create art of him. My latest thought is Waldolf in the ‪#‎Zootopia‬ world, but almost any G rated art of him would work. A bouquet of balloons weather given to me or Waldolf Ursine in person or delivered to the house. or just a card mailed to the house. Its these 2 different feeling of want and not wanting gifts that get to me. ,Both feelings of " give me stuff" and "Why are you giving me stuff?" besides contradicting themselves, are not good. self centered greed on the one, and the other being cynical on the other sigh