James is sort of like a cat. Sometimes he disappears into the backcountry for nights on end. Some days he's all up in your business. He likes to be around you only when it's his idea. He likes being patted on the head, told he's a pretty boy, and given free food, but God help you if you try to pick him up. If you offend him, he just might throw up in one of your shoes.

He is incredibly cheap and will sell anything not nailed down. If James actually buys something for you, watch out. He's either plotting something or trying to get a date with you. He keeps his promises (most of the time) and doesn't make a bad ally if the price of your head doesn't outweigh whatever trouble you're going through.

The man's mouth is probably his biggest enemy, which is what landed him with that rack of his. He's not that great with women either, tending to become immature and forgetting that he's sort of creepy looking and that standing outside their place of work for hours on end is not acceptable behavior.

JW is the reason the McDonalds soda fountains say "REFILLS SAME VISIT ONLY" and that is all you really need to know.

Likes: Folk music, money, Gilligan's Island, lemonade, baking, wood carving, insulting others, a good joint now and then, birds, long drives, money, horses, chocolate brownies, being right, that mad face ladies make when you pick on them.

Dislikes: Alcohol and those who drink it, cats, dogs (especially large dark colored dogs), people touching his mail, rich people, educated people who shit on people who couldn't afford to go to school, heavy metal, goth kids, and cops.