Jupiter Romanova by da-end

Jupiter Romanova


25 December 2015 at 10:12:50 MST

Jupiter Romanova
25 years
9’3” (282 centimeters)
808 pounds (367 kilograms)

"If there is one thing I would like you to remember, my darlings: never think of your life as spent uselessly. Even a dull life can be reshaped in an instant by one event. [Pause] You may all think of me as a spectacular woman, but not too long ago, I was far from such. I was not an amazing student, I never was a leader amongst my peers, I did not live a luxurious life, and I certainly did not excel at anything. [Laughter] No no, don't laugh, it's true! Would I ever lie to you, dear? [Talking] Good, glad you agree. [Short pause, loud munching is heard] However I had a particular interest in puzzles. Not just simple logic and rubix puzzles, I mean all puzzles. Puzzles that captivated the mind and the spirit, puzzles that changed the course of the world. Like... social puzzles. [Pause] I never sought to become Head Priestess for the glory of it... really. [Sighs] Well this is meant to be my memoirs... I... I did it for the challenge. I wanted meaning in my life really. I was never happy before I became a part of Heaven with Boundaries truly. [Quietly] My peers laughed at me, they wanted nothing to do with a fat little nerd. [Rustling] No no, I'm fine dear, really. Thank you very much for your concern though. [More loud eating sounds]
I think I was desperate for something one day. It lead me to that nightclub, that loud boisterous place of unkempt vices. [Laughs] I barely remember the name of it now. But I remember him. Ender, he called himself. A large... [Audibly disgusted] ugly playboy Reshiram, ugh... [Strained, increasingly muffled by food] The bastard flirted with me, said I just needed to “loosen up” “relax and eat more” as if he knew what I needed?! [Talking] I'm sorry; the thought of that... bastard makes my blood boil. [More talking] We can continue dear, I'll be fine. [Laughs] I took solace in the fact that Matthew stood up for me. Don't bother quoting him, he keeps saying he was jumping on opportunity but I like to believe he did it to save me from [Sharply] him. [Short pause] Matthew is better than you think really, he's a kind man. Angry and impulsive, yes, but still kind. Really, “Ender” was the sort of friction I needed in my life. He was [giggles] I mean is an honorable rival... [Murmuring] I'm allowed, dear! Even if I hate his enormous guts, I can say he put up a good fight.
Back then, Heaven with Boundaries was just Matthew and I, the woman foolish enough to believe him. Mauna wasn't nearly as disgustingly large as he is today then, so nobody really paid him any mind. Sadly they still don't, but I expect that will change soon enough. [Laughter] Matthew simply needed those willing to put their lives on the line to save the world from unheeded gluttony. I won't fib, it was a stupid decision made out of anger, but I joined him willingly. I wanted to destroy that pervert by any means necessary. [Soft chuckle] If only I knew what I knew today. I believed Matthew to be mad at the time, that Mauna was really some sort of grotesque weakened god, it was simply unbelievable! No, I planned to socially destroy a mortal, not a god. [Pause] It...went as well as you may expect. [Longer pause] I wasn't afraid of Mauna however; you can thank pride and rage for that. I took my failure as motivation to continue, because finally, I had something to stand against. Something that gave my life meaning, a large enough puzzle that would satisfy me. I just lacked the solution.
You, you were the solution, all of you. Heaven with Boundaries and its many loving wonderful people were the perfect antidote to our blob epidemic. Oh don't be humble! We wouldn't be here today if it weren't for all of you! And yes, I am including you Gerald. Every single one of us has an important role to play, and part of yours has been your work on this book. After all of this is over, when Mauna burns eternally in his own magma, and the world is free to be whatever size they wish, you all will be out there accomplishing even more. I only hope that I will have a place in that world. [Murmuring] Yes you may, my dear Gerald. [Rustling] Yes yes... it's okay to cry, I still love you. I've always loved you. I just ask for you to forgive Matthew for his... impulsive behavior. Treat him as if you'd treat dear Alex.
Oh yes... speaking of Alex we must go to her. There's a lot to do... Thank you for your time today Gerald. May you be ever diligent and disciplined."

  • Unedited Interview with Head Priestess Jupiter Romanova, three hours before Operation: God Cooker

Excerpt from “Heaven with Boundaries: A Story of Dilligence and Discipline” (draft, unpublished)

[(att: HwB Book???)
{Hey ger, this has been sitting on my computer for like ever. I didnt know you wrote a whole damn book about Goddess Jupiter!! You should totally send me a copy mam! And dont give me shit about the whole “unpublished” thing, thats total bullshit and you know it! I mean I guess a lot has happened since then and you havent been riting as much, but I know you and I know that youd totally be the sorta dude whod have this finished in like a week. So shoot me an email sometime!
Scribe Paul}]

Amazing gift art by gravityinbound gravityinbound!

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