"Happy -HIC!- New Yearsh! Hrm? Yeah I guess I got shtarted a little -URP!- early, but hey, it's five o'clock somewhere, right? Now are you jusht gonna gawk or are you gonna help me -HIC!- squeeze me gut through this puny door? I'm ready to part-UuUuUUuUurp!-"

Somethin' silly and sloshy for New Years! I guess clearing out a liquor store is a bit more than a 'pre-game' but listen, I'm a heavy guy! It takes a LOT to get me drunk, okay?