Blind sighted by you. –Written by Xinnova2

Sometimes you wonder how you will ever make it through life. When everything seems to be going against you; a back and forth struggle. Even when you brace for it and know it is coming, you still get hit hard by it. Leaving you weak and wondering why you are being assaulted by fate. Though, you still find those closest to you to cling to. But what if you fear what happened to you will cost you everything?

I was certain that life was going my way. College was breezing by from assignment to assignment and I was surviving. Not only that, but I also had such a loving personality by my side. I must have seemed such a fool to be taking everything so lightly. But I was possibly the happiest husky alive; I had no real reason to ever fear things would change. When things started to become blurry for me I should have known it wasn’t just my allergies. And that this wasn’t over.

Was I always such a stubborn pup? Had I really been blinded by that happiness I had always clung to? I used to always just take life one step at a time and deal with problems as they arrived. But now as I found it hard to do even the simplest tasks; like driving. I knew that nothing was ever going to be the same. At first, I ignored it as I made it to class by just walking and staying close to my friends.

Did I mention that stubbornness that I was so cursed with? Well today I thought I was doing better. After all, I could make out letters once again and it seemed maybe it was indeed just allergies. I found my seat and started to regain a bit of spunk as I readied for my exam. My cargo pants seemed to click against the desk leg as I swayed my feet. I was anticipating everything to be a breeze and that all would go back to normal.

Laughter and chatting was all around me as my friends conversed. I ran my paws gently over my t-shirt as I began to pull a pen from my baggage. I had spent the past week studying hard on this; I knew I was going to ace the test. It was all I could think about and sometimes stress over to the point I would have to be held by my love.

As we waited for the teacher to finally show up I could just sit and think of the red wolf. He was always there for me when I needed guidance or just a hug. Someone I grew to depend on so much. My mind began to imagine the wolf in rather adult circumstances which was strange so early in the am. But this wolf was so dreamy even if he didn’t think so himself. My thoughts returned as the door to the class room opened as the professor came inside after giving an unneeded apology.

So the test began. I could barely wait to be back home as I had wanted to tell that special wolf just how wonderful he was. I was waiting to receive my paperwork when everything started to change for the worse. The blurriness had returned with a vengeance. I couldn’t even make out the first sentence of the exam or where to place my name. I tried rubbing my eyes vigorously only to have them burn causing me to stop.

“Hey Chevy, are you okay man?” Came a concerned voice at the desk beside of me.

“I’m fine” I was lying.

I was actually far from fine; near the point of freaking out. My sight wasn’t returning this time and I felt as my whole world became a blur. I tried lowering my head to see if the words would clear. I didn’t want the world to know of my problem as I felt my resolve shatter. Those around me had become silent as they were busy with their own tests.

My hand gripped my pen now to the point of breaking it. I had studied so hard for this day; I knew the answers and yet I couldn’t finish the race. My heart sank into the darkness that was filling my soul as I realized that I couldn’t complete the exam. All my hopes were all riding on this; my life would be measured by it too. Yet, all I could do is watch as the blurs of color that were my fellow students all get up and turn in the exams.

I was now one of the last students left. My professor had taken to reading what seemed like the newspaper. Totally in a state of not caring nor did he seem to really be bothered that I had yet to start. Such was the discipline of the University’s staff where I went to school. They got paid regardless and now I sat crippled and all he could do was make muffled remarks of needing to leave early. Finally, everything had reached a peak that I couldn’t recover from as the last student stood up.

“Professor, I… can’t complete the exam” I stated, trying to remain calm.

“Oh?” He questioned with that knowing look as he folded the newspaper and placed it before him.

“Well then, I suppose you learned a lesson today” He scoffed.

All I could do was take the punches that he tossed my way. How could I just open up and say that I am broken? I could hear him rising from his chair as I closed my eyes. The sound of the clapping of leather to tile floor got closer to me. Before I knew it he was before me looking down upon me.

“This University only accepts the finest students Mr. Terrae. You would do well to remember that the next time you go to a party right before the exam.” He now scolded.

“But sir, it’s not like that at all!” I shouted while keeping my head lowered. I hide the tears from his view.

“Ah, so you just decided something else was more important than your future. Regardless Mr. Terrae you stand on the threshold of your own life. You fail this exam and you lose credibility with the University.” He commented as if he knew everything, even god’s real name.

“I… I just can’t see the fonts… I can’t read the exam at all” I reasoned while my grip tightened around my pin in anger. The tears now rolled down my white furred cheeks.

The older man just stood above me as if he was taking in everything for consideration. I did not dare to look up and reveal those tears. My whole world was turning upside down. I felt my stomach grip tightly and lurch forward as if it wanted to barf. Then he did the unthinkable, I heard a soft chuckle come from his lips as he began to take my paperwork.

“Mr. Terrae, I’ve been with this school for a good twenty years strong. I’ve heard many stories and excuses to get out of taking the exam. So you’re saying you cannot see the font and therefore you cannot take the exam? Do you take me for a fool?” He once more began to scold.

I felt my teeth begin to grit tightly as this old man was adding to the mess that was now my life. I wanted to just leave but at the same time I was afraid I would fall.

“But I studied so hard for this!! I… I just cannot see the words!” I yelled out my retaliation to try and end his prosecution.

“Enough Mr. Terrae, I won’t be treated like a fool in my own class room!” He retorted as he pried the paperwork from me.

As I felt the papers leaving my desk; I felt my whole existence slipping. I bit my lip and held my tongue as he scooped the other exams off his desk. I wanted to scream at him but all I could do was sit there in the desk. My ears twitched as the doors opened and slammed shut. He had left me with my regrets and depression without even trying to help. I took up my bags and stumbled slowly towards the doors. I wanted to hide my handicap. If only I could lie down and just pass away from all this chaos.

Most of my time was spent just trying to make it to the bus stop. I had to somehow make it home to get away from the rest of the world. That’s when I heard it; the sounds of a ring tone muffledly calling out to me. I took the phone into my shaking hands. Unable to read who it was I just answered it as I wiped away the tears. That’s when I heard his voice, soft and caring.

“Where are you Chevy?” Came the concerned tone of my dearest love.

My ears perked up as my whole world started to make a little more sense now.

“I’m at the bus stop hun, what’s up?” I answered without giving anything away.

“What are you doing there? Why aren’t you at the coffee shop… you forgot didn’t you…” He commented as if he already knew I would forget.

Then I remembered that I was supposed to be at the coffee shop for a little date we had planned. I winced rather noticeably as the bus slowly began to pull up to the stop. I remained silent for a moment; unsure of how to address this problem with my partner.

“Meet me at home in an hour. I will be back as soon as I can.” He answered as if he knew my thoughts.

“Alright sweety, I will be home waiting for you. I… we need to talk.” I replied just before hanging up the phone and moving onto the bus.

How was I supposed to tell him that I was now near blind?

It was as if my whole life was now an obstacle course. Every step was a judgment call. Every movement was a questioned situation that I felt I would only promote more failure. Just making it to the bus and knowing when to get off was something second hand to me; but now it seemed almost impossible. My ears never lowered as I constantly listened to the sounds and words of those around me.

Somehow I managed to make it home on memory alone. How could I give in and ask for directions? This was my problem; I couldn’t even contemplate to add this to another’s current problems. I had somehow deserved this and would bear with it for as long as it cursed me. Though, I soon found another task near nerve wrecking as I tried to fit the right key into the key hole.

The tears soon began to fall once again as I fell to my knees. Every key I tried just wouldn’t fit and now I realized that I had left those keys with my other books; in the back seat of the car. Rolling over I found myself sitting on the concrete side walk that led to our house door. I stared blankly out at the blurry sky wondering why the world was now against me. I just hugged my knees tightly against my chest now and buried my tears against my forearms.

Time passed, but my sight didn’t change. I must have seemed quite the foolish cry baby to those walking by; but I didn’t give a damn. Who were they to judge me for my tears when it seemed everyone else’s lives were so perfect? I tried to calm myself but it only seemed to get worse the more my mind would collect itself. Then the thoughts went too far, as they drifted onto the Red Wolf Rebel; my love. How would he react to knowing I was possibly blind?

My ears kept alert as I slowly began to relinquish the grip on my knees. I had to strengthen my resolve before he got back. I had to stop the tears and I had to become mature quickly. He didn’t deserve a broken partner, and he wouldn’t know I was broken either. I had to keep this from him in order to somehow protect him. Deep down however, I knew it was just to protect myself. Of all the things that was going wrong; I couldn’t lose him too.

By the time he got back I had drifted off to sleep. Torn up and unnerved by the recent actions my life had taken I quickly tired myself out. I was woken by the feeling of a soft hand caressing over my head just between my ears. Then I felt the familiar, pleasant scratching that always calmed me down; just behind my ear. I woke with a warm smile as my soft yellow eyes just gazed up at the one I was expecting. Tears had long since cleared up and to him I just seemed upset that I had locked myself out of the house.

“See, this is why I told you to put all your keys together…” He scolded with a knowing look.

“I know, I just get so vexed at times with school work.” I replied with a bit of sorrow still on my tongue.

If I knew him he was probably smiling back at me finally and gave me a helping hand up. As I rose to my feet I took up my bag. He quickly opened the door and I stood there dumbfounded as I tried to make out the dark doorway. Trying to follow his movement I kept a hand out and touched the door. I gave a silent sigh of relief now as I made it inside as the lights were turned on.

I was having trouble admitting to myself that this wasn’t just a bad dream. How could I so easily tell Rebel that it was possibly my worst nightmare come to life? As he continued to talk I just kept up a warm smile as my eyes were constantly straining to make out shapes. I laid my bag down at the door and made my way into the kitchen to sit down and remain stationary. If I didn’t move around then he wouldn’t know of my handicap.

“So I went to the store without you; but I didn’t see any of those Tablets you spoke of.” He commented as it seemed he was grabbing something from the fridge.

“Perhaps they were just sold out?” I continued to speak as chipper as I could.

“Perhaps, or maybe it wasn’t the right store. If you want we can go out tomorrow morning and see if we can’t find them. Maybe even try the whole date thing again.” He spoke with a mildly bitter tone as if hinting that he wasn’t pleased to be stood up.

“Well we could do that, or maybe we could just stay home and have a nice dinner here?” I questioned as Rebel would then sit down in front of me.

He sat two metal cans on the table and scooted one towards me. I was slow to respond and nearly let the can go past me. Luckily though he didn’t scoot it too fast and I was able to react to the blur. Wincing now, I found out a flaw to my plan as I couldn’t see the cap or how to open the can. It was as if he was testing me even though he was only doing typical things for me.

I fumbled around with the can as he popped his own. I could feel my frustration rising now as I found it difficult to simple open the soda. I heard him take a sip of his and sit it down as I was still trying to find the cap. Luckily though, as I heard his words to question me rise up I found the cap and quickly opened it. Taking a sip of the beverage to try and look as normal as I could made him content for now.

“Alright then, though you know I’m behind on my work so could you make the meal?” He stated as if he was constantly trying to analyze me.

“I… Sure can, though what would you like?” I gulped as I felt my reply drying out my throat. I took another drink.

“We have steak going to waste so why not cook that up?” He asked with a bit of a purr at the beefy meat being spoken of.

I would normally be right there with him on that. To cook steak with the current sight that I carried would be a challenge. I gritted my teeth and bore the weight of the decision as I just smiled as brightly as I could and gazed towards his blurry form.

“Just tell me how you want it cutie and I will do the rest.” I retorted with a bit of a smirk.

I could only guess that this pleased him as he gave a soft laugh now.

“I would take mine medium rare with a tad bit of seasoning my chef.” He would jest.

The blur that I had been made to believe was him started to come closer to me. I had no idea what he was about to do as I just tried to brace myself for impact. I had to try and be calm and hopefully whatever he did would accept my body being stationary. I just pulled a warm smile as the blue filled my vision; I moved in for a kiss. Only to press noses into each other a bit roughly as I let out a soft whine in unison with the red wolf.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve seemed a tad off ever since I came home.” He questioned intent on figuring out what was wrong.

My heart skipped another beat now as he stayed in front of me. No doubt his arms were now crossed over his chest and giving me that knowing look. Oh how I would give anything to see him; even if it was to scorn me. I never realized just how much I missed seeing him mad until I lost my sight nearly completely.

“I admit, I’ve had better days. I promise you, I will have that steak ready for you.” I dared not to lie to him; but could I afford to tell him the full truth?

As he gave me a bit of a huff and walked away I started to think on the cost of seeing an eye specialist. My heart sank further as I just let my ears pull back. Gripping the soda can a bit tighter as I just sat there in complete depression. Head beginning to lower as I let out a soft whimper as I thought he was now out of the room. Only to be brought back to reality by his concerned and rather powerful voice.

“Chevy Terrae, you aren’t going to sit there and tell me nothing is wrong.” He nearly cussed now as I’m sure he was biting nails.

“Rebel… love…” I finally broke down.

“Yes? Please Chevy, just tell me.” He spoke softer now as he moved to sit down in front of me.

That’s when I felt it. That warm embrace of his hands against the top of my own. They left the death grip on the can to join with his.

“I think I may be going blind.” I admitted straight out. I had been through too much to try to sweeten the words for him.

At that moment there was complete silence. I could only guess that the expression on his face now turned to shock as he didn’t seem able to collect any words. Then I heard him again as the blurry image seemed to shift.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” He questioned with a tone that spoke with disbelief.

How was I supposed to be any clearer though? All I could do was groan at his request before finally submitting to his question with a grumble.

“All I see are blotches of color. Would you rather I guess a number one through five?” I gave a soft chuckle at that.

Though I really doubt that he was laughing as my attempt to ease the tension had failed. I could only hear him give a soft sigh now. Those hands soon gripped mine in comfort now.

“We need to take you tomorrow to see the Optometrist. Get those eyes checked out and perhaps just get you some glasses.” He reasoned, tossing in logic into my chaotic life.

Hearing such things caused my ears to perk up and new life came into my being. It felt that a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders now. But then came the question of funding as my expression turned grim now.

“What about the cost? You know that I don’t have insurance. I can barely afford the car and school.” I explained calmly to him.

This didn’t bring about any sort of snort or tone change now as he simply spoke to me.

“I have a bit of money held back for my new laptop. I’m sure it will be plenty to cover your visit. No more worrying okay?” He retorted with a gentle poke of the finger against my nose.

Oh now I wish I could see the expression on his face. My own was lit up with such warm as I could only thank him over and over. I would be giving him so much passion tonight that was certain. Though another thought come to my mind as I gave a gentle growl.

“That’s not all, I lost my sight during the exam and I couldn’t finish it. The professor wouldn’t let me retake it. He said I was making up excuses.” I gently spat out now as the thought of that man made my teeth grind.

Again my savior spoke up with a gentle tone. Bringing new life to my once morbid beliefs that I was forever cursed. Yet, I was now faced with the greatest blessing I have ever known. This angel who wore red fur that now spoke to me.

“When we get the doctors word on you needing glasses I will personally talk to him. He will let you take it love, we will have proof.” He explained with a bit of comfort as I felt his hand moving over my cheek.

Just as the blur of my boyfriend would soon lift up from the chair it would falter and just give a soft laugh now.

“The steak in the morning will be on me too, now come to bed. Tomorrow will be a rather long day for you.” He proclaimed with a chuckle as he took me by the hand and led me to our bedroom.

That night I spent both thinking that I was truly the luckiest creature alive while also showing that red wolf just how much he meant to me. It was difficult for someone who was half blind to lead. The blending of our lips would only be the start of my apologizing that night. It would drift into the warm feeling of our bodies combining. Soft howls in the night as I would show him just how much I loved and appreciated him. The passions would rise through the night between us and I wouldn’t sleep much that night. He would know just how I loved him as the morning sun was my witness.

It was hard getting up that morning for the appointment but with the help of Rebel’s soft lips upon mine how could I stay asleep? It was like waking up to an angel would was guiding my path to enlightenment. And I had to admit, without him I would be lost. I would attempt to press my lips into his only to miss and hit his cheek causing him to chuckle softly.

He helped me to the bathroom, aiding me in cleaning and even showered with me. The hot water wasn’t the only thing that would steam up the bathroom that morning. I would give him a bit of early morning passion as I still felt like I was taking so much from him. It wasn’t till we were dressed that we would speak to each other again properly.

“Don’t worry about the money. I know somewhere in that mind of yours you’re trying to figure out how to repay me.” He scolded with a stern tone.

“But…” I whimpered out softly.

“I won’t hear another word of it fur ball. It’s just what lovers do.” He stated quite frankly before turning to guide me out the door.

The drive to the Optometrist seemed so strange. All the shapes I had known for most of my life were now all smears of color. It brought a new prospective to me now as I would never take the simple things for granted ever again. As we made it to the doctor they let us right in to see him. It wasn’t long before we figured out that Rebel was indeed right. I would need glasses, and that they would have me a pair ready that same day.

As I took the temporary pair they let me use I had to make another big decision in my life. I had to pick a pair of glasses that I would be wearing. Something that would state who I was without making me look strange. I must have spent a good hour just looking for a pair of glasses. I could tell clearly that my boyfriend was starting to become rather annoyed with my indecisiveness. I finally gave up and just faced him now with a bit of a worried stare.

“If you think this is so easy, why don’t you just pick me a pair?” I pouted at him now.

I couldn’t believe how upset this was making me. Just picking out a pair of glasses now seemed like it was the end of the world for me. That’s when he moved upon me with a pair of glasses and placed them gently on my muzzle. I took a look in the mirror and was simply amazed at the shape and the style of the one’s he so easily seemed to pick out. They were simple and yet the design seemed rather elegant in a way. The black frame blended with the color of my fur rather well and the rectangle shaped specs seemed to give me a bit of an attitude.

I was just jaw struck now at how he took something so complex to me and made it look so easy. Before long I would feel that old demon of doubt coming along to just smile softly to him.

“Are you sure that these fit me?” I questioned as I finally got a good look at that face of his when he was annoyed with me.

I could only chuckle softly now as I knew that I had the glasses that I would use. Leaning towards him now I pressed my lips tenderly into his own. He blushed fiercely at that as I just winked to him.

“I’ll take them.” I declared.

From that moment on everything in my life seemed to fall back into place. I was allowed to take my exam again and I passed it with flying colors. I got in my car and finally was able to drive it back home. My friends all loved my glasses and thought that I looked so dashing in them. But most of all, I was able to share a steak dinner with the one I loved. I was able to see the face of my angel once again and this time I was able to smile back at him. My life would never again be taken for granted, I had all I ever could want right before me and I just hope he knows that he will always be my everything.

The End. <3