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A Twist of Life Part 1 by WesleyStonePaw (critique requested)

The computer screens flickered gently in the dark room as ads and videos streamed across them. One held a chat program. Little blips of conversation would blink into life then slowly scroll towards the top of the screen.

A clean limp paw lay draped over a keyboard, its twin covered by a snoozing head. Thehin's eyes flicked back and forth slowly behind their fleshy shields, his dreams wild and definitely stuff of imagination. His long tail slowly tightened around the leg of his chair as his dreams became more violent. Shaggy hair swayed against the tip of his nose as he twitched. The navy blue shirt he wore was wet with his sweat, a stain already beginning to form.

“BLIP BLIP BLIP!!”

Thehin sat up with a start. Someone in the chat had buzzed him to get his attention. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes slowly, he twitched his ears irritably.

“FateStripes? You there?”

“What is it Dossy?” he replied. He tried thinking about what he had just dreampt about and grumbled as it kept slipping his memory.

“Hey I was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend.” Dossy queried.

“How are we supposed to do that, you live like 9 hours from here.”

“Oh, I forgot to mention, tomorrow I am moving up there, I got a new job there. :-)”

Thehin sat back and thought about it. Scratching the fur on his skinny belly, he smiled. It would be nice to have more of the group here. On the other hand, Dossy was... very free spirited.

“I guess we can get together for a bit. What did you have in mind?” he asked, trying to seem interested.

“Wanna see a movie together then go get some pizza?” she asked.

“Sure, sounds like fun.”

“Yay!”

Thehin leaned back and popped his knuckles. He was starting to feel hungry. There wasnt much he could eat in the dorm room. Looking around he saw his philosophy books and a couple of his thesis laying on the dresser and bed. Standing up, he walked over to the mirror and yawned. His maroon fur was all messed up. Sticking up at odd angles. The white stripes looked all jagged from the little jutting bits of maroon here and there.

He quickly rubbed all of his fur down and stretched. As he bent over to stretch his legs, his toes wiggled and his claws clacked quietly against the wood floor that seemed to have been deemed necessary in only half the room. Standing up straight again, Thehin gave his groin a slow scratching rub downward.

Grabbing a pair of black jeans, he slid into them and then reached over to the headboard/shelf of his bed and fished his wallet and phone out of one of the little coves. He tapped the clear button to wake up his phone and saw a new message.

“Hey, Can you send me a picture, I want to be sure who I am looking for.” From Dossy.

“Really...” he thought to himself. “My picture is on my chat profile.” he replied.

Sliding the phone in his pocket, Thehin walked to the closet and pulled out a thick hoodie and grabbed his keys.

Outside, the wind had picked up, a good sign of a coming storm. The tall campus grass swayed and whipped in the gusts as Thehin walked along the sidewalk towards the parking garage. He could feel the wind tugging at the fur on his tail where it wasnt covered. Long sleeves covered close to the base and a half foot under the tip of his tail.

“BZZZ BZZZZ”

Taking out his phone he looked at the screen. Another message from Dossy. Opening it, Thehin saw the little picture message icon before his phone asked if he would like to receive the message. It was peculiar that she had sent him a picture. As far as he knew no one had seen Dossy, other than her sketches of herself. He clicked receive and put his phone back in his pocket as he made his way into the parking garage. It was almost instantly warmer. Unlike most parking garages that usually have the dull color of dried out gum, this one was painted the school colors of silver and gold. School spirit was evident everywhere. Stenciled paintings of stars and jet fighters were all over the walls and floors.

“BZZZT BZZZT!”

Taking the phone out of his pocket he opened the received message and looked. A smooth white belly with the shadow of a belly button was the content. He could see grey fingers holding up a pink shirt, the underside of a poka dot bra just sticking out and the elastic of a pair of matching panties poking up along the top and bottom of the frame.

Thehin blinked and looked again, then quickly typed a reply.

“Your belly is pretty white, lol. Oh and nice underwear.”

He chuckled and put the phone back in his pocket and walked up the ramp to the second level. Reaching inside his hoodie, to the inside pocket, he pulled out the little ticket that told him where his car was parked.

“D15”

Looking around, he spotted the D aisle and made his way to it. As he walked down the aisle, his phone buzzed again.

“>_< You were not supposed to see those!” Dossy replied.

“Lol, Take them off next time and I won't.” he responded.

Chuckling to himself, he walked up to his car. It was a black Dodge Neon with silver racing stripes. Taking his keys out, he pressed the unlock button and opened the door. His seats all had the celtic knot embroidered on them and the neon lights along the dash and floorboards all lit up as he turned the key in the ignition. The soft hum of the engine pulsed through the car as he flipped through the cd case in his console. Pulling out one of the CDs he slid it into the player, the words Romeo's Revival popped up on the display. Both of the sub woofers, and all six of the speakers hummed to life as an etherial sound wafted from them just before a huge blast of music erupted from within them.

Another picture message popped up. Thehin again clicked receive and waited patiently. Just as he began to reach for the shifter, the message confirmed received and he opened it.

There was Dossy. Her bluish silver hair hanging around her cheeks with her polka dot panties hanging from her mouth. Under the picture it read. “Is this better?”

A Twist of Life Part 1 (critique requested)

WesleyStonePaw

A story I started a short while ago. Please read and let me know what you think!

I will upload more when I have the chance.

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