Now before I set you at ease,
I have to tell you of this malaise.
I worked for Tech Support.
Longed to build some rapport.
Got stuck in the bottom shelf help desk
With Morons I truly Detest.
But with a Friend like Marv
My sadistic urges didn't starve.
We hatched a schemed together
as our minds' thoughts tethered.
My cunning, and his conviving,
A Black Hat demon we're relieving.
Systems started so slow,
as we made the scheme go so low.
Twenty thousand company eyes,
We'd want to sign their goodbyes.
Disclosed over email,
That the boss is letting them go.

The button was hit,
but just then a rift!
The screen flashed green,
And this guy who looked mean!
Crept out from emergent flames,
And so his tale he began to explain.
The company was bust,
But money's always in lust.
So the Boss signed a pact,
To keep him in the act.
With our actions undeterred,
the contract was null & void.
Oh shit, Marv stirred.
I blinked.
I wouldn't have believed.
The Mean Brute fished in his pocket.
Just as I pulled my plug from it's socket.
My bag packed, and Marv's coffee weaned.
In a hell's court we're getting sued.

For the battle of our souls,
Versus his Dishonorable Dark Lord.
We'd run amok, of these guys in red smocks.
I wish I did English Instead,
I wish I read Goethe's Faust.
He seemed like he knew what to do.
My ass was on fire, with the courts stool.
Central heating must've been broke,
The room hot enough to fry yolk.
Not a fucking drink in sight.
They still used blood for ink.
My eyes glazing, as I felt my body baking.
Marv took the stand to protest his innocence.
I struck out to find some relief.
Something wasn't right and I needed a breeze.
Nodded and slipped by some forked tailed bureocrats.
Into Hell's basement for boilerplate analytics.
Found a vane, and turned it all the way.
Then started hitting buttons.
Turn it off and on again.
Surely they'd have a fan in there?
An hour of tinkering
with my mind blinkering,
I'd love a pint of ale
But so far I'm bleeding pints of ... hale?

Fucking Christ, it's freezing in here.
I check the dials, and quickly turn Pale.
I've detoured the souls to Auchnagatt.
Shrug, and get back up to plead my case.
Suddenly, everyone's in a daze.
Marv is chanting from the chandelier,
saying he's utterly won.
Demons shiver, and quiver,
All Huddled together,
Must be the weather.
Get Marv down and say we're still out of a job.
An idea came from our hare-sized scheme,
We turn to the chilled Judge, and say
We have the solution to your temperate trouble.
We start making a system on the double.
In exchange for pay, our souls kept in our own bay.
So began, our partnership interwined.
Two Broch Assholes avoiding the mortician's slab.
By setting up a company caleld Hell Labs.