10 August 2018 at 22:56:14 MDT
The screen flickers on to a grainy camera feed.
Alice: Hello, potential patrons! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Alice Hearts, a mercenary for hire at the top tier in her class! Let's not bore ourselves with anymore fluffy small-talk and get right down to business. If you're looking to have someone, perhaps an old colleague you had a falling out with, a low-life who mugged you on the street, or even just a bully at your local workplace, delivered helplessly into your lap for a ridiculously low cost? Look no further! My prices can't be beat! For the low, low fee of ($5.00 CAD), I can have your target captured, trussed up and brought to your requested location in just a few days! You may even select the type of bind and gag the unlucky victim will receive! Duct tape, rope, straight-jackets, leather straps, zip-ties, ribbons, cloth gags, ball gags, muzzles, glue, I do it all! Just send me a picture and a brief description of your target and you can consider them yours to do with as you please! There are only a few rules I have, though. One; no targets under the age of 18. I don't deal in minors. Two; I'd prefer any targets to me roughly "animal-like" in species if at all possible. Trying to tie up something like a Magnemite or a Geodude would just be impractical. I'll let you know once you send me the picture if I deem the target in my wheelhouse or not. And three; please be patient. There's always a chance I'll have unavoidable delays in completing a capture, and I may also have backlog from time to time. Once the target is delivered, you may transfer the money to my PayPal, not before. It makes things less complicated that way. Also, if you want your target "permanently dealt with" but you don't want to do the dirty deed yourself, depending on the circumstance I can provide that service too. Just keep in mind I don't like making big messes either, so if you opt for my assistance there I'll probably just do it with something easy and quiet, like a rope around the neck or an extra piece of tape over the nose. Guns and knives are just a bit too crude for me.
Minun: Mmmmmpf... >_<;
Alice: Oh, quiet you! throws the roll of duct tape at his head Please excuse Milton over there, he can get rather impatient sometimes. Really he should be thankful for me sparing his life and taking him into my home to be fed and protected from the mobsters whom I helped him "retire" from when I infiltrated one of their hideouts a couple years ago. I mean, I was just gonna smother him right there in the hall, but his cute little muffled pleas for mercy were just too much to ignore, so I decided to bring him home with me to serve as a "personal assistant" of sorts. Saved me the effort of actually having to hire someone to be a display prop for these ads. Anyway, hope to hear from you all soon! Alice Hearts out!~
So yeah, here's sort of a "YCH" thing I've been thinking of doing for a while. Yes, it's an actual advertisement for Pokémon bondage commissions. Like the Chu said, commissions requested through this promotion are $5 instead of $12, but just one character per commission please. If you want multiple characters on one drawing it'll have to be a regular commission at my regular price, which you can find in my profile information.
since I've raised my regular commission prices as well.at my regular price, which you can find in my profile information.