"I know we talked about this before, but based on recent circumstances, I think it would be in your best interest to consider medication." Daniel had gotten straight to the point before Dylan could even get comfortable in his chair. The red head immediately rolled his eyes, not liking this conversation already. Daniel fully expected this, but sighed anyways, unsure if he will be able to convince Dylan anything. He can only hope to change his mind, though Dylan is exceptionally stubborn.
"And what makes you think it'll actually help?" Dylan was quick to sound aggravated, he did not want to take medication, even if they did help, he doesn't believe it solves anything, just covers it up, pretending it's not there. He has never liked the idea of living on medication to control his moods or 'make him sane'. Who says it'll even make a difference? What if it doesn't do anything?
"I don't want you to fall into another crisis, Dylan, and while medication alone won't solve your problems, it will make it easier for you. It will calm your mind and allow you to think more rationally." Danny gave Dylan a worried look, genuinely concerned about the direction Dylan has been heading in the past few weeks. Ever since he started assignments relating to the Syndicate he has become more anxious, more prone to lashing out and now Danny is beginning to worry that Tobi is in possible danger being around Dylan.
Dylan however just shook his head, refusing to look at Danny and simply stare off to the side, out the office window. "Of course it won't solve anything. All its gonna do is cover up the problem."
"Medication isn't covering up the problem, they are treating it, taking the edge off to allow you to live a better life and learn to cope with the proble--"
"To cope with it safely I get it, you've explained it so many times. It's not going to work, and I'm not going into another crisis, I'm fine." Dylan couldn't help but cut Danny off, not enjoying the lecture that he has heard multiple times before. He knows he is not fine, he knows Danny is only trying to help him. But frankly, he doesn't care. He firmly believes that nothing will help. Danny can offer all the advice in the world, but so far not much has really proven to be useful in Dylan's eyes. Danny sighed, he knew Dylan wasn't going to cooperate, so it seems plan B is needed.
"Dylan, you must realize that if you are showing signs of being a danger to yourself or someone else, I am required to step in. After your argument two days ago you made it abundantly clear that you are more than willing to harm Tobi despite the fact that your job is to keep him safe. Not to mention that you threatened to kill him over a cell phone." Daniel got to his feet, figuring Dylan will actually listen to him now that he is visibly angered. Dylan was indeed listening to him, his annoyed expression having changed to uncertainty as Daniel approached him.
"As your doctor, and superior, I have control in deciding whether or not you are mentally and emotionally fit to continue this job, and currently I am heavily considering that you are not fit to continue in the current state you are in. Ever since we allowed you to aid us against the Syndicate just a few weeks ago, you have done nothing but regress back into your old habits. Now that Tobi is in the mix you are taking it out on him and I cannot allow this to continue. So, I will give you two options: either you mature up and start taking medication to actually help yourself for once, or you can continue what you are doing now and you will be forced to resign." Daniel doesn't want to give Dylan an ultimatum, he knows how important this job is to Dylan, but he cannot find any other way to get him to listen.
Dylan was quiet for several moments, unsure how to react to what was said. However after a moment he got to his feet with a glare plastered on his face. "Just because we fought doesn't mean I'm gonna kill him, Tobi fully deserved that and i'm not going to let myself get fired because he can't call a bluff!"
"Your job is to keep him safe, not give him a black eye and threaten his life. How is he supposed to trust you when you pull this shit?"
"He shouldn't trust me, if he was smart he would have left by now as he is clearly not fit for this job!"
"YOU are not fit for this job, Dylan. Tobi has done nothing but pass with flying colors but you are sending yourself down a path of destruction that you have created yourself!"
Dylan paused, looking legitimately shocked at what Danny had said, but that surprise quickly turned into a harsh glare. "Myself? I did this to myself?" The red head took a step back, tugging at the collar of his shirt to reveal the 4 scars trailing down his chest. "Did I do this to myself?" He let go of his shirt and pointed at the scar across his face "did I do this to myself?"
Daniel realized immediately that Dylan had misunderstood what he said, "Dylan--" he couldn't say anymore before he was cut off.
"Am I the one who damaged my own arm beyond repair and had to get it replaced with this chunk of metal?! Am I really the one who sent myself down a winding fucking road of despair?!" Dylan began to look panicked as his pulse skyrocketed, memories he tried to forget about, moving back to the front of his mind. "Tell me, doc, am I the one who thought it would be a swell idea to strap me to a chair and watch Mitchell scream and cry as he bled to death? Am I the one to blame for all of this?!" Dylan's voice was growing frantic, the anger in it shifting to that of sheer panic.
"Dylan, that's no--"
"NO! You listen to me for god damn once! You weren't there. You weren't there for any of this! You don't understand, and how could you?! You've had a perfect life. Everything worked out for you, everyone likes you!!"
There was silence for several moments, Dylan was trembling, having taken several more steps away from Danny and closer towards the door, ready to leave if he felt necessary. Daniel knew that yelling would make this worse and only make Dylan run as a result from the panic attack, so he heaved a sigh, forcing himself to calm down, hoping to convince Dylan to do the same.
"That wasn't what I was implying, Dylan. None of that was your fault." He took a tentative step closer towards Dylan, knowing full well that he may run no matter what he says. "What happened to you was wrong, none of it was your fault and I never said it was. I am worried about what you are doing now, how you treat Tobi, how you treat yourself. That was what I was referring to."
Dylan stared at Danny, realizing he misunderstood but not yet able to calm down. "I-- I don't know how else to handle it! You tell me to make friends, but having friends is what caused all this! Had I not befriended leeroy, I wouldn't look like this." He gestured to the scars on himself, "Had I not befriended Mitchell, he wouldn't be dead!"
"The difference is that I know these new friends can be trusted. You know that Jesse and Phillip are never in the line of fire, and I know they will not hurt you, Tobi too. out of all the friends you could have, I firmly believe these three are right for you. You have to learn to trust people, Dylan. I know it is hard but you need to do this if you ever want to heal."
Dylan shook his head, not believing a word that is being said, "You can't expect me t-to trust people after that, there is no more trust!"
"You trust me. You come to me willingly to vent, even when you don't have an appointment scheduled." Daniel knows that Dylan doesn't believe him, and he doesn't blame him for being so uncertain, but he hopes that eventually, Dylan will listen.
"W-well yeah but that's different, I've known you my whole life."
"Dylan, they have proven that they won't hurt you, even after your fight with Tobi, he came to me, worried about you. I think that should say a lot about him."
"I-..." Dylan sighed, shutting his eyes for a few moments and forcing a sigh to try to calm down and slow his breathing. "I know... I know.. I'm just scared, I don't want to go through that again. I can't.. I.."
Danny was relieved that Dylan seemed to calm down, but he knew that he had to speak carefully otherwise he could set him off again. "You will get there eventually. But do keep in mind what I said earlier,"
Another sigh came from Dylan as he rubbed at his face for a moment. "Meds... meds, yeah I get it. Fuck... fine, I'll give it shot I guess."
This drabble arised as a result of a conversation about whether or not Dylan should be on medication for his problems. While I think it makes sense for him, Dylan has his own opinion on it.