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Dangerous Lunatics: Turning Point "Book 1" by TokenNerd (critique requested)

Dangerous Lunatics: Turning Point  "Book 1"

Dangerous Lunatics:
Turning Point
by Token Nerd

-This is a Spin-off series based on the novel Dangerous Lunatics by Alex Reynard i am a fan of his work and recommend him to everyone -


Book One:
Beginings

-JACOB-

Jacob could honestly say that straight jackets are indeed not easy to escape . You think after harry houdini did it every smuk could? Jacob sighed as he thought this in his little padded room laying face up looking at his ceiling. For a young wolf boy like jacob laying here and doing nothing was torture in itself especially if you've been in here as long as he has.

Jacob wondered how long he had been in here. One day? One week? Time really was something one could lose track of easily.

The wolf boy tried to get up and succeed after a bit of a struggle and now was standing up against the window of room 37 smiling as he peered outside and saw a rather skinny squirrel girl walk past with her suitcase and Miss Peliski. This tickled the fox boy pink.

Not every day you meet someone new in this hell hole called Golden Gardens.

-KIMYONO-

Kimyono was a sweet little squirrel who preferred to be called Kim, her parents loved her and weren't even all that strict about grades but that was before the visions happened. She was about 8 when her first seizure happened all she could remember was playing jumprope with her friends before it hit her like bombshell images flashes of fire some hospital and various faces one was of an albino bunny another of a rather nerdy looking fox boy. Kim woke to her parents looking over her in the hospital. its been 4 years since then and she still has the seizure visions their mostly random and only have her blackout for a bit most doctors say shes epileptic and ever since she mentioned the dreams some say she may also be schizophrenic.

Kim's parents struggled but after getting a letter from the prestigious mental institute of Golden Gardens she was quickly whisked away.

She arrived there early morning and was quickly walked in by her father and they both were greeted by a rather burly cow who quickly introduced herself as miss Peliski.

miss Peliski smiled at her. " Why hello there miss Hana my names Gertrude Peliski but you can can call me Trudy ok."

She looked at her father. "D-dad?" said Kim weakly

Kim's father smiled and gave her a quick hug. " Its okay my little flower everything will be okay."

And with that Kim watched her father leave waving dearly at her leaving her in the care of Miss Peliski.

" Come now dear i'll show you your room."

She nodded her head. " O-okay.."

^^^^^^^^^^^

Kim woke the next day to her roommate snoring loudly. Her roommate was a rather hommely looking mouse girl with by far the worst hair do ever but besides that she didn't seem that old like 10 only a few years younger then her self. Kim sighed as she quickly changed clothes wanting to look good for a first day here, as she was brushing her teeth she heard her roommate wake up and rather noisily yawn before peeking her head in and giving a rather wry smile telling kim that not everything this girl said was to be taken seriously.

"Why hey there newbie!! I see you're making ya self comfortable in this nuthouse!"

Kim groaned before looking at the girl. " You know its rude to talk to people without even saying your name first."

The girl laughed hard while Kim blushed in embarrassment." Pfft girl don't have to be all snotty! and the names Mary sue number one girl out of all the smuks in here!"

This made Kim chuckle a bit and look more kindly to the rat girl after all first impressions mean a lot.

"So miss Mary sue. Care to give me a tour then?~" said Kim with a grin.

Mary sue grinned wide showing off her rather common mouse girl teeth and large array of freckles." Right this way Miss...Ummm whats ya name again?"

Kim rolled her eyes with a smile on her face." Kimyono Hana but all my friends call me Kim."

As Mary showed Kim around the institute she got to see the full part of it that they could see ,apparently they were in Ward-C Section-A and that it was mostly filled up with some of the more functional crazys she called them nothing too serious , all the serious cases where in Section-B and to Kims unfortunate luck Mary gave Kim an indepth telling of the only two occupants so far.

"Yea the place been open for about eh a month or so they delayed it a bit after some weird thing over at one of the others what's its name uhh...Oh! King's Orchard thats the place! apparently some stuff went down." Mary shrugs as she rounds a corner to a hallway with rooms.

"So whats up with the steel doors?.

Mary smiles at this as she takes her to Room 37 and tells Kim to peek through the window." I want you to meet one of my favorite people in the whole place!! Come on out Jacob and say HI!!"

Kim looked at Mary weirdly before she was quickly spooked by a small thump at the window and rather crazed looking wolf stared at her intently with a smile on his face.

" HI there!! i saw you walk in! you have big glasses like really BIG!!!" said Jacob

" uhhhh t-thank you?"

This must have been hilarious because Jacob then proceeded to laugh maniacally as he back back into his room." Is h-he always like this?" said Kim

Mary sue shrugged." Varies really well at least he's better than his neighbor Barry...Guy is a total dick. He's in Room 29 go take a look."

Kim with a bit of curiosity in her eyes went to go look at this Barry and was greeted with a rather small and skinny looking Rabbit boy all chained up like hannibal lecter. At first she thought this was rather cruel but then Barry got a look at Kim and he smiled. Kim shivered children don't smile like that and she instantly thought better about her opinion on his accommodations and quickly caught up to Mary sue both of them heading off.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

-MARY SUE-

Mary sue was about 7 when the cops started coming to their house usually with her in their paws, Mary Is a Compulsive liar every time she gets nervous or is scarred or maybe just wanted attention she lied telling great tales of bullshit this brought her a few friends but even more trouble especially when people started to BELIEVE what she told them. Her earliest memory was when she told her neighbor John that his shoe was actually a double decker bacon cheeseburger next thing you know john has to have his stomach pumped and half his shoe was gone. Stuff like John started happening more frequently which made her rather drunken father upset to say the least. He was a monster at least to Mary Sue all the time he would beat her to make her stop telling lies considering the lies got worse so did her fathers punishments. Luckily after her father was arrested for child abuse and rape (Thank the gods for nosey neighbors) she was sent to Golden Gardens and now about week later she was showing her new friend and roommate the lunch room.

Mary enjoyed showing her new friend around the building they allowed them to go, they made a quick stop for lunch letting Kim get a good look at the lunch room structure.

"So remember if the weird goat kid is in the line what do we do?"

Kim nodded her head."we go to the other one."

Mary smiled as she patted Kim on the back congratulating her. As lunch ended Mary took Kim to some where in the center of the building and revealed a sort of open area with grass and a small pavillion. As Kim looked about with intrigue Mary caught a glimpse of Donny the weird goat kid from lunch and with a smile she hollered for him to come over. Mary giggled she was about to show Kim a little something weird on their tour.

"Hey Mary! wassup?" Asked Donny

Mary smiled to herself." Oh nothing much Donny i just wanted to let you know that i got the stuff.~"

Kim looked over a puzzled look in her face as Donny smiled wide his poofy hair moving out of the way to show a bit of glee in his eyes.

"Really!! you got them oh Mary can i have them now!?" Pleaded Donny

"heh sure kiddo just hold ye had." said Mary.

Mary reached into her pockets and placed the contents in Donnys hands which he then showed off as he jumped in joy the clinging of the coins in his hands making a rather sweet ching sound. After his burst of joy Donny thanked Mary mercilessly and gulped down the contents before going back to his activities leaving Mary with a smile on his face and Kim with her jaw hanging open.

"He ate them!!!" Exclaimed Kim

Mary laughed " Yep he sure did! But don't let that bother ya Donny's a good fella but like i said you don't eat in the same line unless ya got an iron stomach."

At this both of the little girls laughed for Kim it was a laugh that brought her some good memories while for Mary it reminded her that her old life was gone.


-CONSTRUCT-

Construct looked at himself in the mirror you could tell by the black sags under his eyes that the brown bear hadn't slept in quite a while.Hey dummy you done yet!? Construct cringed as he heard the physic words of his teammate Connection jeeze for a small little cat girl she was rather loud and Troublesome. With a sigh Construct walked out of room they were living in a run down warehouse in small city near Golden Gardens their first hit as team. Construct smiled as he laid eyes on his third and last teammate a little bat boy called Subsonic.

" Connection Subsonic you guys ready? You know we get only one chance at this."

Connection smiled a toothy grin. " Yea lets get some more teammates already! I bet this time will find a guy blow stuff up with his mind!!!"

Subsonic giggled at this while Constructed just rolled his eyes." What ever come on we got work to do."

The group of gifted kids got up as they made their way out of the ware house and headed to the outskirts of town giving them a clear view of Golden Gardens Mental Institution. Constructs breathing was bit harsh his heart thumped in his chest but what do you expect ,not like breaking into mental hospital funded by a government that wanted to eradicate kids like him with power was gonna be easy.

End of Book 1


Dangerous Lunatics: Turning Point "Book 1" (critique requested)

TokenNerd

i just got back from the hospital today so im uploading this as a sign of good health this is my first story I've ever written but the story i want for this is something I've always wanted to do so please comment point out the bad the good and what you think of the story im working on the second one now so i hope you guys enjoy this

this story is also on my inkbunny account~

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