13 September 2017 at 20:45:31 MDT
"(A newly-weded couple walk into the furniture section of a department store. Two salesmen, Mr. Verity and Mr. Lambert, are there to greet them.)
VERITY: Can I help you sir?
HUSBAND: Yes, we'd like a bed. A double bed. Do you by any chance have one for about 50 pounds?
VERITY: Oh, I'm afraid our cheapest double bed is 800 pounds, sir.
HUSBAND and WIFE: 800 Pounds?!!
LAMBERT: I'm sorry, but Mr. Verity does tend to exaggerate. Every number he gives you will be ten times too high. Otherwise he's perfectly right.
HUSBAND: I see. So your cheapest double bed is 80 pounds?
VERITY: 800 pounds, yes sir.
HUSBAND: And how wide is it?
VERITY: 60 feet wide, sir.
WIFE: 60 feet?
HUSBAND(to wife): Six feet wide. (to Verity) And the length?
VERITY: The length? Uhhh... (to Lambert) Lambert, how long is the Comfidown Majorette?
LAMBERT: Two feet long.
HUSBAND: Two feet long?
VERITY: Yes, you must remember that Lambert multiplies every number by three. It's nothing he can help, but otherwise he's perfectly right. See, when he says a bed is two feet long, it's actually 60 feet long. That's not counting the mattress, of course.
HUSBAND: And how much is that?
VERITY: Mr. Lambert will be able to help you there. (to Lambert) Lambert, could you show these 20 good people the, uh, dog kennels, please?
HUSBAND: "Dog kennels"?
VERITY: Yes, you must say "dog kennels" to Mr. Lambert. If you say "mattresses", he'll put a bag over his head. I should've explained, but otherwise he's perfectly all right."
With salesmen like these, no wonder online shopping is so popular!
I decided to make some fanart from Monty Python's Flying Circus, one of my all-time favorite TV shows.
As I always say, "Hope you like this!"
Artwork is by me, Monty Python is by BBC.