Existence by The Fire Tiger (critique requested)


From my perspective, the world was merely as small as can be. Nothing but a huge ball of dirt and water. And incapable people, nonetheless.

But as bad as they may be, or how stupid they might be, I knew that my time would come to descend once more to the cruel planet we called Earth. I was not very excited about it, however, everyone else seemed to want me there, like it was a heaven in itself, like the one we are already standing on.

"Don't be so pessimistic," one of my friends reassured. "It might be a long hundred years or so, but you'll see that it's not as bad as all your past lives!"

"Please," I scoffed. "I always get the worst man, the one that is picked on at school in his teens and has ultimately no life afterward. You all have something against me, for sure..."

"Not at all!" he replied. "Look, I, too, have suffered in my past lives, that doesn't mean it's a total wreck for just me. You just have to know that suffering is a part of existential life and it's completely natural for you to feel that."

"I'm better off without it..." I blantly sighed, and made my way to the plains.

I sat on those plains for who knows how long. I just reflected on how long I might be there this time, what species I might be or what friends, if I could even call them that, will betray me this time. I've lived one too many lives that have resulted in total disaster for me. Almost all of them ended with me being killed, and I only remember one time I actually died naturally, but with no family or friends by my side. If all there is for me is pain in my lives, then I don't wish to live another life down there.

We usually made a joke that Earth was the Hell. For me, that seemed to be true in every way possible.

"Uthurunku?" A potent voice bellowed from behind me, and I quickly stood up and turned around. Just as I suspected, it was the Fantastic Creator Wiraqocha, in charge of everything that went on around here. I aknowledged his presence by kneeling, as usual.

"Sit for a moment," He said, and I did so, facing Him. He, too, sat down with me. This was nothing important by the looks of it.

"What is it?" I asked. "Is this about my descendence?"

"Yes, in fact," Wiraqocha replied. "I think you have some... interesting things to say about the citizens of Earth, is that not?"

Well, crap, I thought. I forgot that He can read anyone's mind just by looking into their eyes.

"Um..." I stayed frozen, not knowing what to say. "I'd rather suffer another life now..."

Wiraqocha softly chuckled. "If this is about you wanting at least one good existential life, then you would have to cope with suffering. Have they not told you?"

"I guess..." I growled. "But when someone has that, they return with a smile. When I do it, however, I return with a tear. I'm like the punching bag for every single person down there, it's like..." I stopped myself. That would be rather offensive, I thought.

"Like what?" He speculated. "It's fine, you can tell me now..."

A tear trickled down my fur, the same ones that have been in my face too many times to count. "...like You tell them to do so."

We stayed quiet for a minute, and I started to sob. This wasn't how I wanted to leave.

"We walked, laughed, played and fell down..." Wiraqocha muttered, and I snapped out of my sad trance.

"Huh?" I replied.

"And lost our way goin' round in circles, and through shortcuts along the way I found one thing to be true..." He was... singing?

"You can't believe in everyone
But you can't lose sight of those you love
You made me strong just being yourself
And you always walked with a smile."

"Just some song I learned from a few years ago. You should learn it while you're down there." Wiraqocha then patted my back. "If you want I can sing it to you... you know, before you go..."

I thought about it. "What special meaning does that song tell me?"

Wiraqocha smiled. "It's simple. While you might still be young in the world, you can learn a lot of things from the world around you. Even your enemies. And while you might be far apart from us, saying inside, I miss you, we still share the same smiles and tears of our past lives, like a gentle wind blowing across the grass. You will never be truly alone, despite whatever life may await you down there. You still have us. Watching... and waiting."

I was reassured. Perhaps this life may not be worse than others...

I laid in my bed one last time. Here it comes, I thought. This is the part where I descend down to Earth as a newborn. But I should look up into the positive side of things. This could be the start of a new me, essentially. Maybe this time... it won't be so bad.

"Remember who you are..." Wiraqocha muttered to me before leaving.

"You say that to everyone, and yet no one accomplishes that mission." I replied.

"Heh," He said. "Who knows... maybe you might change the game this time."

A light then started to bathe my eyes. It was time.

"Smiles and tears..." I sang. "One after another..."

The light grew even stronger, and my memory fading fast. I could hear the familiar sound of a mother giving birth, and the panicked voices of everyone else around.

"I'll miss... you..." They were my last words before everything went black. The last memory: Wiraqocha, humming quietly behind me. "Which are now far apart..." He echoed in my head as a small light in front of me grew larger... and larger...

And everything else came naturally: my instinct to cry, fear the world, not know what could happen. But this time I knew it wasn't for the Fantastic Creator's pleasure, but for our instinct. A mother knew that better than anyone, deep inside, if they believed so.

The light finally covered my eyes... and my memory went blank.

Existence (critique requested)

The Fire Tiger

20 December 2015 at 17:30:07 MST

Original SoFurry description:

"I have been slow recently. Guess it's writer's block again. :/

Just a short little story that takes place in my own little universe where souls reincarnate as new beings of Earth every day. This one in particular, however, isn't so excited about that...

Created in under 6 hours on Sunday, May 3rd, 2015."

This story is part of the Winter Reboot.

Submission Information

Literary / Story