27 June 2014 at 21:53:19 MDT
drawn to this
This is a really personal piece, as a heads up.
So this was sort of inspired by a drawing done by my friend, thestripedkit, here.
I never made a pride month picture before.. I guess cause I like to usually keep this stuff to myself, and I was scared, haha. I drew a collage of events that actually happened to me, that were sort of big impacts on me as a homosexual.
The first one being sceamed at by my mom how disappointed i made her, the second having my old best friend tell me I was going to hell, the third is when i went to confession on a retreat and confessed i was gay, only to have the priest chuckle and tell me that God made me perfect... Then a phase i went through where I thought other girls like me didn't' exist (i went to a catholic school and was literally the only out girl in it, ha.) and... self acceptance.
The blue deer dude is Emmy's, from the picture this was inspired by. He's basically an unnamed deer who recently came out. The picture really pulled at my heartstrings, it's still my favorite of hers.
I'm so bad with words, but i'm gonna try my best to get my thoughts out here.
I'm lucky. I'm really, really lucky. All these experiences I've had... they're long done with now. My mom has her moments, but she's a lot better now. Like extremely. Things could have been so much worse. I'm not friends with that one girl anymore... she was honestly very off kilter and was a toxic person to be around for a LOT of reasons. And.. i'm here. i'm okay. I'm aware that it isn't going to be accepted by everyone -- even many of my family members... I still have yet to face my father about it, but... sometimes, the phrase "blood is thicker than water," is bullshit. Sometimes the people who love you the most are your friends... or even complete strangers, like that 100-something year old priest who told me the very thing I wanted to hear from my own mother, from someone.
This isn't only about my own self acceptance... But I want to reach out to those who still struggle at times.. Or even those who have just been there, or those who are totally confused and scared. I know how you feel -- on different levels... But I do. And I love you. Even if you can't find it in yourself to love you... I do. And I'm proud of you.