Inspired by a dream, but more or less a speedpaint about Autumn. This would be an example of the kinds of things she paints sometimes. When she's not painting brightly colored surrealist landscapes, she'll often depict herself as a tormented, wolf-headed creature. In SnB she's still pretty tore up about what happened in her childhood, but in Amber Peace (novel), with all that's happening around her, it just tends to get pushed by the wayside. And she's never really had the opportunity to talk to anyone about it. Most people at the asylum where she grew up didn't believe her when she said that one of the doctors was sexually abusing her - thinking that, as a troubled child, she was just trying to garner attention. And the doctor had a good reputation. Those that she does try to reach out to throughout the course of the story either are rather indifferent about it, telling her to get over it, or feel sorry for her but can't offer much else. Werewolves are a pretty Spartan people, so you either suck it up and use your Rage as a source of power, or you get Omega'ed. And so she's forced to deal with it alone, thus part of the theme of this painting.

As a result of the abuse, her wolf is practically rabid, especially around men and doesn't trust them very much at all. It's very easy for it to fly into berserker rages when the threat of intimacy rears its ugly head. It thinks its protecting Autumn, protecting their body, from harm. Sometimes the wolf-personality gets the short end of the stick in regards to emotional traumas, and part of the reason why they're so wild is because the person has shunted a lot of their pain onto the wolf-persona. This happens subconciously but also usually as a result of the person feeling that the wolf is stronger than themselves, so they're better equipped to deal with it. Autumn's wolf doesn't really mind this as it thinks that Autumn can do no wrong and actually WANTS to protect them; it perceives this as its reason for being. Autumn does try her best to deal with the trauma but it doesn't help matters when she continues to cling to her wolf for protection even when she finally meets someone she wants to share herself with.

I'm actually not entirely sure how this character arc pans out but I do know that it will be bittersweet if anything.