Not Up to The Job by Stampy

Not Up to The Job


15 September 2014 at 17:19:01 MDT

"I'm... Sorry? Could you repeat that a bit louder? My hearing's very good, but I couldn't possibly have heard you correctly there..."

"... Or I suppose maybe I did, then. Well. That's... Um. You... Huh. Well... Okay. I think I understand the basic logic here. Catch me if I've got it wrong, would you?"

"So... Your boss owns a building, then. A very tall, fancy building. A skyscraper that cost him a great deal of money. Too much money, in fact, and now he's six months back on rent and construction alike. So when he hears that a court order has been executed allowing his debtors to repossess the no-longer-his building, he knew he would need some kind of protection or it'd be gone by the end of the week. Am I feeling it all out proper so far?"

"Good, good. Okay then, this is where I lose track of his train of thinking. He hired you?"

"All right, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Yes, you're very tall and strong and probably imposing to a normal or a macro, certainly. But... Really? I mean, you're what, about a thousand feet tall? And your boss thought you would be enough muscle to defend an entire skyscraper?"

"Hm. That's true. You did seem to have those smaller macros down there wary of you. I will give you that. But, well, were they even a danger to begin with? The lot of them couldn't even lift the building in question. I'm just... Really not sure how you got the job defending the skyscraper when you're barely even taller than it!"

"Hm? Oh! Right. Sure, I'll let you down. I can see how dangling you about like a mere bug here could be a bit damaging to your reputation, certainly. The building is coming with me, though, sorry. I'd say, 'at least you can still get paid,' but given your boss' track record you might need a court order for that."

"Anyway, best of luck! Maybe you'll hit a growth spurt some day and get to be a proper sort of menace. Other than that, all I can suggest is perhaps looking into a new line of work. Maybe there are some farming conglomerates out there who could use a scarecrow?"

(Writeup by vdoplus)

Another sketch from a little while ago, this time of Elizabeth, vdoplus's megamacro Nidoqueen, the eldest of the Reyes sisters. Seems the poor "little" guy was massively underqualified for the job!