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I don't do requests nor art trades, sorry.


Depressed gay artist and gamer with no friends. All that needs to be said about myself.

Latest Journal

Things just keep getting worse.

on 29 March 2017 at 03:23:39 MDT

I think it's now clear that not saying "2017 will be better" was a good idea. As if having things go totally downhill to begin with was bad enough, now the problems have gone past the internet and into real life too.

I can't specify the details, but in the worse-case scenario that could wind up happening anywhere from the next few days to the next few weeks, my father could lose his job and my mother's working hours could be heavily disrupted. Considering the cost of rent, hydro, internet etc, this could lead to horrible horrible things happening.

I might have to give up doing almost everything on the internet but drawing & uploading art and maybe not even that, if much worse problems than just rendering lots of online stuff unusable pop up.

I should also disclose I'm addict to cola, so if my supply of that gets slashed, I'm probably going to go into withdrawal with disastrous results. I might not even be able to get out of bed. I know it seems silly, but I've tried going several days without it and I'm completely drained when that happens.

You might be wondering why I couldn't just open up commissions if things are going to be this dire in a while. Well...

  1. I'm too young to have a PayPal account. If PayPal finds out you're under 18 (I'm 16), they will suspend your account.
  2. I highly doubt my art's up to scratch and as such really don't want to do them since I feel they have no value and I don't want to disappoint people.
  3. I am REALLY unmotivated and lazy at times, which is inevitably leading to angry customers if I can't motivate myself into doing the commissions.

I also can't get a job for the same reasons I can't have a PayPal account which cuts off that option to try and minimize the impact, plus I've dropped out of high school as I mentioned before and nuked my chances of getting into college, which also stops me from getting an education. You can see where this is going, right?

Likewise, I'm striking off trying to get crowdfunding help, for the same PayPal-related reason and because it doesn't feel right doing it. Besides, I don't even know what will happen yet, so it's best to just wait and see what happens (likely something bad).

There's a good chance that only one or none of the two things will happen, but if even one happens, then I'm going to feel the consequences by proxy. And I can't see the best-case outcome happening without a deus ex machina.

I'll drop a followup journal after the outcomes. I know disclosing my real life is a bad idea, but I know someone will ask what happened if I suddenly vanish again so it feels like I have no choice.

tl;dr: My parents' jobs are possibly in dire straits, there's nothing I can do about it and if the worst-case scenario goes through I'm completely screwed.

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Joined 20 September 2015

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    I just wondered if we can become friends online .

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    Thanks for the Favorite! I'm glad you like the art!

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    Sorry if I'm flooding the front page! Just re-uploading all of my stuff after I left FA and nuked it as well as a variety of other old stuff. Well, sort of. Also uploading pretty much all of the new art I drew since I abandoned Weasyl, probably by accident.

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    Thank you for the follow, Solrex!

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      No probs. Your journal compelled me to leave FA as well and move to Weasyl.