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Angel Armory - May 23 2013 WIP by SF (critique requested)
WIP bounce of my entry to the Indaba Music How To Destroy Angels remix contest.
So close to being done now. Also mastering is way less fun than composing.
I think I’m going to tweak the intro to be a bit less mushy and maybe switch out the second chime instrument for some synth strings, and then I’ll have actually finished something! On a deadline!
Please critique while there's time left!
Submission Information
- Views:
- 315
- Comments:
- 6
- Favorites:
- 0
- Rating:
- General
- Category:
- Multimedia / Remix / Mashup
Comments
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Thanks, I appreciate stuff this specific! A lot like the chewiness of the bass keeps getting changed since I really have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to mastering, and it's an unfortunately necessary part of the process even though it's not "my job" or what I'm good at. It's such a pain too because some stuff that sounds great on one set of speakers sounds terrible on another (which is something I've tried to find compromises for in these last couple versions). I'm going to try and work in some elements from that 17th version in the final submission hopefully without losing some of the "safety" this one has.
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I don't know what you mean by 'safety'. But then maybe I just got attached to the 17th version. I think it's a solid, head-bob inducing piece of music.
Though I'm listening to the 17th again and I'd be interested in hearing it without the triangle chimes sprinkled in. The piece has a dark, smooth cyber vibe and the triangle chimes are sort of like chewing on a tiny shard of eggshell in some scrambled eggs. It's not painful but it detracts from the smoothness of the substance. If I'm not listening for them I don't really notice them and really it isn't bad, but if I let the music envelop my train of thought and really savor the music it's distracting.
Comparing it with the version in this post, I just realized, the 23rd version has alot less bass than the 17th. To me good, solid bass is the core of this kind of music, and the 23rdt sounds hollower, like the jack on my headphones wasn't plugged in all the way.
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Less bass was deliberate as it was making the floor shake on my big speakers. If you have too much bass then people can't turn it up loud, ironically!
The chimes are staying but they're a little more cyber-y now. It's a very specific aesthetic I'm going for and those are really iconic of the era. It's going to be more like some kind of robot fortress hidden in an arctic cave.
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So I went back and listened to the older revision a few more times and it actually gave me some great ideas for how to improve the final product by incorporating some old elements. I just tested them out and I think it really put this piece over the top. I'll be uploading it soon. Thanks so much for the help!!
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I wait with anticipation. ;)
Link
TheGloriousTachikoma
I'm sorry [squeezes eyes shut, strains voice]...I don't like this one! :( [relaxes]
I think I much prefer the bass tones you used on the version you upped on the 17th. I thought that with that bass tone the intro was fine. The version you're using now sounds...flatulent if you get my meaning. On the 17th version the whole piece felt solid, firm, like eating a Chewy bar. This version is more like bread. I know...that's a terrible analogy. I'll go put on my pointy hair wig and gray suit now. :(
I also don't like how you got rid of the 'voice' synth that begins at 2:33 on the 17th version, for me that added depth to the piece. With it gone, it just sounds like a repetition of the previous part. Also, that little crechendo from 2:25-2:32 on the 17th version. I think if you beefed it up, made it a bit more of an orgasmic break it would enhance the second half.
Just some more subjective opinions. And yay for making deadlines! :)