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Benqui by SampsonWoof (critique requested)

Benqui (critique requested)

SampsonWoof

He waited patiently, listening to the sound of the scribe’s quill pen scratching the scrabbly surface of rough-hewn paper. Even though it was the height of day and strong sunshine blanketed the landscape outside, in here it was as dim as a cave. The scribe preferred it that way. The sputtering short candles on the young deer’s desk cast their weak light upon whatever prose he was writing.

The young gazelle paced softly, despite the down-filled pillows on the bench meant to ease one’s weary bones. He felt more at ease in motion, to be truthful. Being the school’s courier, he reasoned, was the perfect role for him. When he wasn’t darting between the many buildings carrying messages between professors, students and other staff, he was off to the numerous towns nearby. News travelled at the speed of his gait around these parts.

A small painting by the door caught his eye. He peered in close, smoothing the surface of his loincloth as he bent over a bit to study the figures depicted in watercolour. Robed, professor-types in front of a fireplace, the artwork might have been quite old. He didn’t recognize any of them. Two short years ago, he arrived as a student. He was taught the ways of a grassland warrior, but discovered his true calling was academia. The Academy of Minou was now a place of work – his employer. He was honoured to serve it with his swift feet.

Benqui stepped slowly away from the painting as he realized the scribe had stopped. He turned and watched the deer fold and seal the letter. “Shall I assist?” the scribe inquired, pointing at the thick, leathery band on the gazelle’s ankle. Benqui nodded, conscious of his breathing. He admired the deer greatly. Desire lapped at his admiration, but he kept it at bay. Relationships were not to be entered lightly, he reminded himself. Especially when he spent most of his days running in solitude.

The deer stood and strode purposefully around his desk, catching Benqui’s gaze quickly before kneeling on the ground. He untied the anklet and unfolded the leather surface, revealing an inner sleeve meant for stowing the important message in transit. The gazelle began to breathe slowly and deeply, filling his nostrils with the musky scent of the young deer. He allowed this one clandestine indulgement. The deer was preoccupied with resealing the anklet, message inside. Benqui was preoccupied with the deer’s breath mere inches from the underside of his loincloth.

“There,” the scribe declared as he tightened the anklet’s straps. “Russo is your destination. The bartender at the pub awaits this.” The deer patted the anklet for emphasis, then stood. Benqui instinctively moved out of the way of his antlers.

“It will be there by sundown, Fausk.”

Benqui turned and placed a handpaw on the door, giving Fausk one more glance before leaving.

The deer never took his eyes off the swift gazelle until the door shut completely.

Returning to the sunlight, he broke into a quick run across the green lawn in front of the administration building. The lake down the hill sparkled, its shore populated by students taking a break from the heat. The sun never was too hot for him. He ran better in the heat, he believed. Running gave him lots of time to think and he used his swift rounds to formulate deep thoughts or to solve problems in his head. While many would rue the solitude of his job, Benqui thrived on it.

The familiar path to the hamlet of Russo was just past the gatekeeper’s cottage. He waved to the wolf who lived there and trotted southeastward, where thoughts of Fausk began to crawl into his mind. It wasn’t the first time he’d used a run to think about the young deer, even though it was becoming more frequent. He felt the breeze in his fur and began to imagine the scribe running beside him. This image stayed in his head for most of the afternoon.

Right at dusk, he spotted the swirling smoke that signalled the blacksmith’s cottage on the edge of Russo. He’d not paused once on his run, not even to take to the waters of M’kria Spring. The young gazelle would need refreshment upon delivering his lightweight ‘cargo.’ Seeing the lights of the tavern cast wavering glows on the shadowed earth, he slowed a bit and was at walking speed by the time he reached its door. Benqui swung the heavy, decorated door aside and navigated the maze of patrons, chairs and tables.

The bartender grinned broadly at the gazelle. “They sent the fastest one again, I see,” he joked. “It must be important!” Benqui smiled up at the towering bear. This was his favourite destination as of late. The warmth of the tavern, not to mention the hospitality of its barkeep was only rivalled by the delicious food and drink served within. He knelt and undid his anklet, revealing the thickly-folded message. The gazelle handed it to the bear and quickly refastened his secret message-carrying ornament.

For a moment, the bear studied the note, eyes moving back and forth at the densely-packed letters and words. He looked up and over the edge of the paper at Benqui, then spoke.

“It’s for you,” he growled softly.

The gazelle blinked twice in surprise. “For me?”

The bear nodded slowly and handed the paper back to the courier, who was now hot with embarrassment and anticipation. Beneath the first line, which instructed the reader to return the note to Benqui, he began to read.

“I confess, it’s difficult to watch you leave for days at a time. Alas, it is more difficult to form the words that I shall put here. Perhaps this is why I am a scribe and not a lecturer. Benqui, I have known you for as long as I have known anyone at Minou. My days are quiet, but you bring me music with your laughter. My days are dim, but your handsome figure brings light to my eyes. My days are routine, but you breathe adventure and this brings me joy. Your very being brings me joy. I would love nothing more than to share this joy with you, my gazelle. I know you will be thinking of these words on your return journey. I know you will consider them with the utmost care. My only hope now is that you return to me with that same desire I have to share our joy and our love together. With great expectations, Fausk.”

Benqui felt the noise and the din of the busy tavern fade away. Tears began to form as the words he was staring at became blurred. Fausk was wrong. He did not need his long run to consider his response.

He knew the answer already.

His vision of running side by side with Fausk would come true.

Submission Information

Views:
956
Comments:
1
Favorites:
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Rating:
General
Category:
Visual / Digital

Comments

  • Link

    That was a good story! I was worried that the message was going to be a "goodbye"!