so my top surgery is soon and honestly i'm very anxious about it. it doesn't quite feel real, though it's a week away tomorrow (!!). i know i want it, and i know i'll be happier and freer without my boobs, but it's still weird to think about. i can't remember what life was like without them, and it's kinda scary to think about the future without them. not to mention that surgery in itself is scary. it's hard to imagine life without such a big (unfortunately) part of yourself, but i'm so tired of the weight i carry. i'm constantly swinging between barely being able to contain my excitement, and shitting my pants. i'm thankful that i can finally get this done, but i'm still pissed that i have to go through all this physical and mental stress in order to be comfortable in my own body. i know this rant is kinda disjointed but i'm simultaneously feeling nothing, and everything. it's very confusing, i just can't wait to get this over with.

on another note: i'll have like, a month off after surgery and that means more drawing probably. i've been really slow what with work and stuff, so it'll be refreshing to actually have time for stuff. ahhh i can't wait to not have to bind this summer!! i'm so excited for that!