Okay so I changed fursonas again. BUT. This is the last time, this is it, this is me.
But wait, Rowdy, didn't you just turn back into a wolf? Like, 10 months ago? Yeah but like, I did say that was just me trying stuff out. Turns out I wasn't feeling it. I'll explain why!
I take being a furry pretty seriously. My fursona is a representation of the me I want people to know through my interactions online. When I made my original wolf fursona, it was basically my "starter", and my Crux was the one I put thought into. Over the years, my Crux carried me through parts of my life where I discovered myself, who I was, and so on. But it also carried me through my periods of depression, mental abuse, and overall negative times of my life.
I have since moved on from these things, and I am in a far healthier place now than I ever was, and I no longer identified with what my Crux represented. Though we carry the burden of our actions all throughout our lives, we are lucky to be able to simply shed colorful avatars and allow others to view us in a new way and perhaps whisper to ourselves, "I'm different, but I'm still me." Going back to being a wolf was a choice I wasn't sure about, ultimately I felt that wolves didn't really feel like me either; they did when I was a teenager, but I knew next to nothing about myself back then!
I have chosen to depict myself as a ferret! Though, not just any ferret, I've chosen to claim I am a "Carbunculus Ferret". Inspired by the South American folklore of the "Carbunclo". Protruding from my forehead you'll find a horn of obsidian. The choice of obsidian is of reference to my mother, who is a strong believer in spirituality. Obsidian is a volcanic glass that is said to ward off negative energy, and keep oneself grounded. It seemed fitting given the overall inspiration for the choice!
I love ferrets, they're cute and small and very energetic. They often work better in pairs as they get lonely very easily, and require a lot of attention! You know, just like me~! The choice to take on a smaller form was something I've always wanted to do as well. I like the idea of being small enough to ride on one's shoulders, but not to the extent I'd call myself a micro or anything. Just pettable sized! Being small overall is sort of comforting, it's a big world and I am plenty scared of it.
Overall, I spent a fair bit of time thinking and playing around with designs, anatomy, colors and so on. This is easily the most amount of effort I've ever put into making a fursona!
But uh, yeah! That's what I've been up to. T-thanks for reading. ^w^;