As I was transitioning from being an angsty teen into being an angsty twenty-something, I wanted to get something that captured the way I tended to feel. Although my brief foray into drugs and alcohol was cut short by me being a lightweight to end all lightweights, the aesthetics persisted, even as this would be the last time Roland is depicted as smoking. Still, it fits that angsty, self-destructive mood that he and I were in when we were old enough to be jaded but not yet old enough to be okay with that.