Image for Shep Shepherd, winner of Confuzzled 2014’s Flash Fiction contest!

I bought you from some bloke
who said you’d do the washing up
--what a bloody joke!

The minute you got wet,
you bust your neural net.
It blew up half the house,
which made me quite upset.

I ought to take you back
and ram you up his arse so hard
he has a heart attack,
but everytime I try
I cannot find that guy.

Why did he sell you to me, why?