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Dragon Rage: The First War (picknick10's giftstory 9) by Red Dragonette (critique requested)

Dragon Rage: The First War (picknick10's giftstory 9) (critique requested)

Red Dragonette

Facts that might not be mentioned later:

  • Despite his contempt for both species, Akuma supposes that were some better humans and dragons. Nick isn’t technically human from all the arcane poisoning, so Akuma lines him up with an elemental.
  • Akuma had picked up Albel’s and Fayt’s scents in the distance before flying off towards them.
  • Akuma is still growing, so being only 8 feet at his tallest posture made carrying a human on his back feel strange. Also, he doesn't think Nick's physique can handle a lightning dash, so he just flies instead.
  • Nick's words made Akuma concerned about his own 'plan'.
  • Akuma feels the same way about the Yopple & Ohimia episode, but it’s amusing to him to see Nick riled up like he is.
  • Akuma is suspicious of Nick’s drowned trick and knew Nick knows how to swim. He can’t see Nick though.
  • Moving in the water is much harder for Akuma than walking.
  • Akuma is cautious about calling Nick a friend in front of Ember as he thinks she’s unstable.

Joke scene
Using his massive muscles and rippling eight-pack, Nick swung from Akuma's claws and onto his back in a single swoop.

That’s it, that’s the last of picknick10’s posts from the RP that hasn’t been put into the Dragon Rage story. I won’t be doing any more giftstories for him until I’ve gotten most of my interest back in Dragon Rage. Right now, I’m focusing on my Kingdom Hearts AU fanfic. Anyway, I wasn’t sure what to do for the “With the elitist streamlines,” part in this gift. I had no idea what I could make Ember say before that part to make the conversation transition smoothly. Also, the “SINGLE CRUEL COLD-HEARTED SHOVE” line appears to be a joke on picknick10’s part. I just left it there because it was funny.

Nick and Ember © picknick10 from Deviant Art
Atlas © me
Akuma, Albel, Fayt, Chi and Dion © Eveeoni from Deviant Art
Zeditha and Mia © Zeditha (this is her profile: https://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showuser=209782 )
Yopple and Ohimia © Randomness-Central from Deviant Art

You can see the RP at this following link: http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=152686&st=0

Great War: Dragons vs Humans (c) picknick10
Story written by me
Dragon Cave (c) TJ09 (a.k.a. T.J. Lipscomb)

List of chapters
Prologue - https://www.weasyl.com/~reddragonette/submissions/2059799/dragon-rage-the-first-war-prologue
Chapter 1 - https://www.weasyl.com/~reddragonette/submissions/2059807/dragon-rage-the-first-war-chp-1
Chapter 26 - https://www.weasyl.com/~reddragonette/submissions/2066204/dragon-rage-the-first-war-chp-26
Chapter 51 - https://www.weasyl.com/~reddragonette/submissions/2075140/dragon-rage-the-first-war-chp-51

Table of Giftstories - https://www.weasyl.com/submissions?userid=195211&folderid=114231