17 February 2016 at 18:34:35 MST
The Great Mallard resides––wise, and pensive––in a far, far away dimension––in a large body of dusk (anti-matter) and posteriors known as The Infinitude of The Gluteus Maximaessis, which can be reached via warp–travel through (portals) openings into the Multidimensional Nexus, one in particular being a powerful wormhole, titled The Astronomical Rectum after its likeness of the furthermost section of the human intestine. Puphf loves traveling through the Astronomical Rectum to bug the Great Mallard, often bringing, with him, his best-est friend in th' whole world (th' stupid green guy on http://foamblanket.deviantart.com/, owned by http://foamblanket.deviantart.com/); however, various others, including Terry and Plumb and, on occasion, Xycore, love warping into his presence to speak with him about important junk. The Great Mallard––though a bit joking, and light hearted at times––typically only answers intelligently worded questions that end in constructive deductive reasoning and assessment––isn't capable of hating anyone, though that's not to say that he doesn't almost hate Puphf, whihc is only just one decimal beneath the percentage needed for him to wholly hate Puphf. He never loses his temper; never loses his cool. But he's been pushed rather far, by Puphf, duh, from his ethics and moral codes of maintaining a nonmanual, and sophisticated persona. He often finds himself questioning his value and worth upon constant questioning and nagging from Puphf, who sometimes asks him idiotic questions in his pure and genuine idiocy, and other times will ask him the same question over and over (The Great Mallard isn't capable of not answering a question) again or ask him a stupid question just for the sake of attention and annoying him, because he thinks people's reactions are funny. It makes The Great Mallard's mind ache and answering questions a bit more of a struggle rather than them coming naturally. Many come in seek of advice, as stated before, and he answers all. He is nothing special, just a gigantic, bearded, speaking duck that can create rifts in worlds and feared chaos if so pleased. He isn't omniscient by any means; he's just really old and has been drifting throughout space for so long that he'd had nothing to do other than watch the earth and planets that are in orbit. He is his own planet, and he orbits around the sun; his mental composition exists within the atmosphere that is his physical body.
Respect the Great Mallard, and bring him a straw for his soda or else he won't answer your question in detail. Why does he need a straw? He has a beak; how do you expect him to drink dat Cocacola without lips to pucker up? Should've thought that through? Yeah…. he probably should've.
Also, he gave birth to the entire Flerphendhauhpherhp (http://kuloraki-p.deviantart.com/gallery/54837557/Kuloraki-s-Cute-Alien-Pet-Flerp) population by giving birth to the plant species that had a role in the creation of Flerphendhauhpherhp.