It seems as though the only ones who get me

Are my friends at school, they rarely upset me.

And when I am upset, they're the only ones who treat me

With any real respect, not the bullshit others provide.

And most times you can tell the difference, yet they still coincide.

In a life that I'm trying to fix, that others try to divide.

By giving me all this shit like they know who I am,

Including those closest, the ones I call "fam."

They think they know what's best for me when really it's myself

And at the moment things are happening that are damaging my mental health.

But really, "Why do I care?" What kind of question is that?

Really? Come on now, as a matter of fact,

Let me drop the bomb designed to get rid of my emotion

Drop them all, melt them down, into an apathetic ocean.

Where life is meaningless, nothing resourceful about

Nothing to build upon, nothing to stand on; no way out.

So fuck life if I can't even make lemonade

When it hands me lemons; really it's handing me 'nades.

Grenades. Blasting away the building "Happy."

Leaving only sadness, anguish, mad, anger; tracking

Down everything that makes me feel better

Turning them against me, no chance of getting better.

Only stepping. Into a crowd of gray, losing sheen.

Losing saturation, losing dreams.

Losing those closest, becoming obscene.

Leaving everything

Behind. And trying to find time to

End the cycle, so I can feel alive too.

A different view, that only I can see because whenever

I try to explain, people go "Whatever."

Which leaves me under the weather.

And they don't give a shit.

My life and feelings take another hit.

A blow to the face, a knee to the chest

Never again at my best.

Now that I know people I thought I trusted are just like the rest.

Same test.

Different day. Failing in any way

That I try not to; trying to succeed

But they won't even heed

My words. Because in the end they think it doesn't matter.

But that's another one you've sent on a deadly track

Where there's no turning back.

From grim dark futures and lonliness.

Outcast. Shutting myself out. Exiled from happiness.

Fake face, put on to fool the people

Thinking I'm okay, when really my mind is dropping down a hill of the steepest.

And they don't even realize until it's all too late.