A dead mind[/i]

”Just got out of a shower. It is dark in my room.

The only light source if the street lamp outside my window.

My body is wet. Every step makes a puddle on the ground.

I have nothing else but a towel wrapped around my body.

My legs shake. They can’t take the weight from my body.

I fall on my bed, landing with a thud.

My wet head rests on the cold pillow. My body resting limp on the mattress.

I don’t have the energy to move any part of my body.

My eyes remain halfway open. My ears perked a little to hear.

I see nothing but darkness. I hear nothing but silence.

My body remains still. My senses gone numb.

My mind runs out of control, thinking thoughts that I have no control over.

Depressing images. Ego hurting thoughts.

I can’t help it but run through hurtful memories and false ideas.

I become a victim to my thoughts. My body helpless to defend itself.

I slowly grow sad, feeling my body growing weaker to fight back.

Does my mind show me the truth about my life when it doesn’t have to worry about my body?

Does my conscience act fully when nothing else in my body moves or is active?

Are these thoughts of self destruction, guilt , depression and anxiety true?

Or is my mind just acting like a bully to me when I’m down and helpless, convincing me that it shows me the truth when I don’t have to concentrate on anything else?”

A Dead Mind © 2011 Alex Cockburn