"Dear Santa,

" I'm writing to you because there is something I desperately want for christmas. I really hope I'm on your NICE list. I have been doing my best to be a good samaritan and trying to do all the right things for others. Unlike the other good boys and girls who want toys, electronics and physical objects, I want something else - something that your elves can't make and something you can't get from stores. I want to tell you this before it's too late and you send me something else.

For a few years, I've been trying to keep the pudge belly I worked so hard for as round as I could. I'm happy that I got more than just a bigger belly. I also got larger breasts too which is a plus in some cases. There were days I regret having a big tummy for serval various reasons: mostly due to my low self-essteme. I love my tummy. I think I look cute and sexy instead of a skinny body. But there is something missing. One of the reasons I wanted a tummy was to have someone lay on it, like a pillow. Not full out squish it, but have one use my tummy as a safe haven - a comfort pillow, a resting spot, a place where they could feel safe and secure. I want someone I can comfort with the use of my tummy in a non-sexual manner.

There is a friend I know that has a tummy like mine. She loves to have her boyfriend rest his head on her belly. The face that her mate makes shows comfort and relaxation. I watch as my friend pats and rubs her mate's head like a puppy. While I watch that act of nurturing and mothering nature, I can't help but feel jealous. I don't have a significant other or a close friend that I trust enough to rest on me. From how I'm writing this, it sounds like I want you to bring me a boyfriend/girlfriend for Christmas. It sounds stupid, a bit creepy and impossible, but that's kind of what I want... But mostly just to be used as a safe haven for someone who needs to be comforted and would feel safe laying on me.

As long as we are on the subject of what to get me for Christmas, I also have a few secondary things that I kind of want that you can't make or find in any store. It sounds a bit off, but I want to be able to lactate. I find lactating is kind of sexy. Its another nurturing side of me that I wish to have come true.

... That and also to have a penis (ahem) but that is just more of curiosity than me being serious!

I'm getting old. With the age I'm at right now, I feel like what I really want I wont be able to have or there is a timeline for someone to have it. My body is changing and I feel like my self-esstem would wither away along with my young body. Already, I feel my breasts not being as "perky" as they used to be. A normal sign of age, but something I don't wish to have. Sooner or later, I would start to feel less sexy and comfortable with my own body. I would feel that no one would want to be with me and rest their head on my tummy to feel comfortable and safe. One only does that when they are young, right? I wouldn't know. All my friends are younger than me. They have something that I wish I had... I'm jealous.

Anyways, sorry for using this letter as a form of "vent", but if you could send me that gift of having someone rest on my tummy and/or be able to lactate, that's all I want for Christmas. No toys. No edible panties. No MLP Derpy Hooves stuff. Just that.

Thank you Santa. Have a Merry Christmas! "

- PussyCat

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PC showed me this letter to Santa to see what I thought about it before mailing it. She said that she believes in Santa, which doesn't really surprise me, but who am I to tell her something else. I've never seen this side of PC before, and when I asked her permission to post this letter ( edited for personal reasons ) along with a drawing, she didn't object. This is defiantly different from the traditional MLP toys and clothing she asks for every year.

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artwork © 2013 Alex Cockburn