It's been hard to make sense of the mess I have always felt and accept that I was different, but different is not bad even if others don't understand it and demand you conform to their idea of how you should work. At this point I'm done asking others to understand, I'll be myself and even if the world doesn't validate me, it's better to be made fun of rather than to be trapped in a cage you've made yourself.
I'm agender even if I have to be called gendered names in real life due to my language. Maybe I'm still a bit genderfluid, but I won't hide myself behind that label in order to feel better. Young kid me would be happy to know there was an option and I have to live up to that.
I'm panromantic even if people don't like that term, I feel at home in it and nothing will change my mind.
I'm... somewhere in the ace spectrum. Where? I don't know precisely and I don't need to know. I'm somewhere in between demisexuality and asexuality, but I'm done hurting myself while trying to find the needle in the haystack. This was the hardest thing for me to come to terms with and, after all this time and all the pain, I don't care to reach a known point. No term exists for that lost point I'm at and I will never gain a compass for that, so I'm just gonna approximate and be happy.