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Raiderstuck (part 1) by NovaSquirrel (critique requested)



Chief - leader, captain, can shoot plasma blasts from artificial arm

Jet - pilot

Docs - geologist

Bandit - aquatic expert

Axle - driver

Sparks - engineer and explosives expert

The LMS Explorer had just gotten enough energy to escape from Planet U

and returned home to wherever when suddenly another wormhole sent them

to yet another place, this time to Planet Ouya.

Chief: "Oh crap"

So Chief was teleported down to the surface of Planet Ouya and was immediately

greeted by Master Chief from Halo, except it was the Megabloks version and

Chief is a Lego minifigure so it wouldn't turn out very well.

Chief: "Hi I am Chief from the Rock Raiders and my ship was transported to

this weird place, where am I?"

Master Chief: "This is Planet Ouya"

Chief: "Wait a second is that supposed to be some parody on the 'Planet U'

we just got back from?"

Master Chief: "Of course it is; there's also Planet Playstation 4 but it's not

ready yet"

Chief: "Is there also another planet for a new XBox 360??"

Master Chief: "Yes. But it's not called the 720 because you know what happened

when Atari tried to double the number on the 2600. Hey do you wanna see my

ship? It's called the Internet Explorer"

Chief: "What, seriously? Dude you're ripping off our LMS Explorer to make a pun

about a web browser"

Master Chief: "Yeah but basically everything in this story is gonna turn out

to be ripped off on something or another. Let's go!!"

Chief and Master Chief went to the Internet Explorer which turned out to be a

stupidly designed ship because it was all blue and looked like the letter E but

inside it had references to all sorts of Internet memes so it was okay. Vegeta

was actually one of the crew so it was kind of annoying because whenever he

was asked about any of the ship's stats he always said "over 9000" because the

panel he read stats from was edited to add 9000 to every single stat.

Chief: "Okay, who the heck owns this ship???"

Master Chief: "Oh, the Princess of the Internet of course!!!"

Chief: "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me"

So Master Chief took Chief to the main control room where there was a beautiful

squirrel girl with a crown.

Chief: "YOU're the Princess of the Internet???"

Princess: "Well actually my name is Nova but yeah I guess"

Chief: "Can you help us, we need to get energy crystals for the ship"

Princess: "Yeah sure"

And then suddenly the two ships were transported to a new planet that didn't

exist yet except right just now.

Except Chief and Master Chief got sent back to the LMS explorer and the

Princess went and installed a cross between the Sburb server and

Lego Rock Raiders on a computer she didn't even appear to have before.

Chief: "Okay what the heck happened??"

Master Chief: "I dunno lol but I see this isn't Planet Ouya!!!!"

Chief: "Well then what is it???"

Master Chief: "Well I see a big floating sign saying


Chief: "Why the landslides???"

Master Chief: "A landslide has occured"

Master Chief: "A landslide has occured"

Master Chief: "A landslide has occured"

Master Chief: "A landslide has occured"

Chief: "Hey it's not my fault landslides occur all the time in that game"

Master Chief: "Well at least it's not LAND OF SLIMY SLUGS INVADING YOUR BASE"

Chief: "That could happen later, perhaps with an ALL YOUR BASE reference"

Master Chief: "Or 'im in ur base killing ur doods'???"

Chief: "Exactly"

Chief teleported like 5 Rock Raiders down into a cavern as well as a tool

store and they reported back

Docs: "A new cavern has been discovered"

Chief: "Shut up the cavern at the start of the mission doesn't count"

Rock Raider: "Well uh there's tons of DIRT"

Chief: "Drill it, d00d"

Rock Raiders: "Well uh, we tried but there's these things that look like

Gushers instead of energy crystals????"

Chief: "what"

Rock Raiders: "Then we got it and it said it went into a grist cache?"

then the Chief tried to call the Internet Explorer

Vegeta: "Main screen turn on"

Chief: "Hello uh princess are you there??"

Princess: "Of course I'm here what does it look like I'm doing???"

She places the Alchemiter, Totem Lathe and Punch Designix on the LMS Explorer

and also the Cruxtruder and stuff but they didn't notice really.

Princess: "Okay so you should collect that gusher stuff, it's called Grist.

I'll explain how to use it to get energy crystals later."

Chief: "What are you going on about"

Princess: "Don't you get it this is a Rock Raiders/Sburb crossover!!"

Chief: "Oh okay that makes sense I guess"

Princess: "Have your dudes drill for more grist then call back"

Chief: "Ok"

Vegeta: "Main screen turn off"

Chief: "Okay so you guys need to keep digging and stuff"

Rock Raiders: "Okay I'm drilling more walls"

Jet: "An energy crystal has been found"

Rock Raiders: "Actually it looks like this is an energy crystal seam??"

Rock Raiders: "Energy crystals appear to be super rare on this planet though"

Jet: "Energy crystals found!!!"

Vegeta: "Main screen turn on"

Princess: "Okay guys wait up I'm teleporting over don't use the crystals yet"

Vegeta: "Main screen turn off"

and the Princess teleported into the LMS explorer

Princess: "Okay I deployed some equipment onto the ship earlier"

Princess: "If someone can teleport up an energy crystal that'd be great"

Chief: "Unit teleported safely"

Princess: "When are units ever NOT teleported safely???"

Chief: "I dunno I just always say that"

Then the Princess took an energy crystal and captchalogued it with her

SINGLE LINKED LIST fetch modus, which could hold an infinite number of items

but in order to take any out or find any she has to start from the start of

the deck each time. She had been meaning to upgrade it to a DOUBLE LINKED LIST

which would let her go in either direction but she had been too lazy.

ANYWAY she brought Chief to the room with all the tools and found the card with

the Energy Crystal on it and looked on the back for the code (ENERGY!!) then

putting it into the Punch Designix and entering it to punch the card. She took

the cap off of Cruxtruder and put the Cruxite Dowel and card in the Totem Lathe

to make an Energy Crystal totem which was then put into the Alchemiter to make

an energy crystal at the cost of 1 grist, then does it like 15 more times.

Chief: "Holy crap!!"

Princess: "Just keep mining that Grist, okay? Then we can make more energy


HOWEVER pulling the cap off of the Cruxtruder caused the kernelsprite to fly

out and also started a countdown of impending doom.

Princess: "Oh yeah, at this part you would normally have to use a prepunched

card in order to make some object to save you but since we're already on our

land that's completely unnecessary, oops." :)

The Princess thought for a second about the fact that they'd have a void sesion

if they didn't prototype anything at all and prototyped it with AN ENERGY

CRYSTAL to make CrystalSprite.

Meanwhile Docs looked out from the ship and saw another planet!!

Docs: "A new cav- I mean a new planet, has been discovered"

It was red, white and blue all over, with stars and stripes.

Princess: "Oh yeah, Obama and Romney are also doing Sburb. Land Of Presidents

and Patriotism, I think?"

------------------------- to be continued???? ---------------------------

Raiderstuck (part 1) (critique requested)


My new story series that I wrote to post on RRU because a friend was doing something Homestuck-style but without sburb but you can't possibly leave sburb out of it or else it's dumb

Submission Information

Literary / Story

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