Jon Mahon Thanksgiving by NovaSquirrel

yeah it's another story about jon

Jon Mahon was at Dwenger and he farted (against the rules!) so he got sent to the office.

There was a kid named Sid Space who was the coolest guy ever. Jon missed Josh so he put on

a pilgrim outfit. Sid got his rocket and also put on a pilgrim outfit. On the side of

the rocket there were the words "ABLATIVE EXPRESS" (because "SID SPACE" is a mnemonic for

remembering the ablatives in latin http://www.teach-and-learn-latin.org/sid-space.html )

but Jon didn't give a crap and he crossed out "ABLATIVE EXPRESS" and wrote in "Mayflower"

with really cheap paint. They grabbed onto it and the rocket launched right through the

roof of Dwenger.

Sid's rocket ran out of fuel and crashed in front of Snider. Jon was okay but Sid went

to the hospital. Jon walked into Josh's Geometry class and saw Josh who was goofing around

with some guy's calculator. Sitting by Josh was a kid named Jared who was an Indian

(oops I mean NATIVE AMERICAN it's not correct so say indian) who was doing nothing.

Jon asked why and Jared said "ME NO LIKE MATH" and walked out of the class without

any permission whatsoever. Unfortunately the calculator Josh was playing with turned into

a giant robot and chased after Jared asking him random math problems. There was a kid named

DANNY who saw this and exclaimed "hey you must not be feeling that great today" but the

teacher got super pissed off and wrote him a referral but must not have been seeing very

well because it was on a dress code violation. He got sent down to the office.

Josh and Jon went to Latin class next and Sid Space was better. The calculator robot came

back with Jared who said "ME NO LIKE LATIN!!!!!" They ordered a pizza from Little Caesar's

and were passing out pizza when the principal showed up who was all like "okay what is

going on" so we told her it was relevant because Caesar was a Roman dictator which meant

we were learning about Rome which had SOMETHING to do with Latin somehow (didn't Romans

speak Latin?) The robot started eating all the pizza so Karson picked its butt and it

went to jail. DANNY came in but got a dress code violation but the teacher must have a hard

time seeing because it was written on a hall pass. (the hall pass had the words "fashion

disaster LOL" written on it). Suddenly Josh's calculator turned into a robot and stole Jared

and ran out. Jared shouted "ME NO LIKE ROBOT!!!!"

Caillou came in and made his OWN pizzas but he made the mistake of using Doritos as a

topping. This made Josh super excited and he shouted "DORITOS!" and jumped on his desk and

farted while dancing. That was illegal. After the pizza Josh read "The Jon Mahon Chronicles"

to the class and everyone loved it but then he read "Obamastory" which got him in a huge

amount of trouble. However the kids thought that it was 100% accurate and Obama really did

do those things so he was impeached (meaning he ate a peach and it was delicious). The teacher

had Karson write the plural form of "Puella" on the chakboard but he wrote "Puellams" which

was wrong! It was actually "Puellae"

Suddenly it was 2:35PM and everyone went home.

Jon Mahon Thanksgiving

NovaSquirrel

24 February 2013 at 17:19:11 MST

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  • Link

    The IQ points I lost... I want them back.